In the kingdom of far,far away............

This post was supposed to be published two days ago but was delayed due to unforeseeable and unpreventable circumstances(AKA my inherent laziness,inbred procrastinator's soul and rain of course which triggers em all and prevents me from lifting a finger)

Opened one eye in the middle of the night at the heart of a pouring rain and imagined myself to be in Venice(or some other hapless, inundated city).The light from the street created the loveliest images on the bedroom floor and one sleepy smile,a toss to the other side of the bed,a hand swipe across the eyes,a shock and a gasp later I realized that my room was ankle deep in water....Again.

Let me explain.My room is on the 2nd floor of the house and my house has never been a victim of the floods even when the whole of Sri Lanka had been wading in knee high water,cursing the rain Gods and everything else that dares cross their paths.But my room(on he 2nd floor of the house) manages to drench itself in rain water everytime.The reason? Clogged up drains*nod nod*

Let me explain again.An ingenious idea of my father to direct all the rain water from the roof to a single gully as a result of which when it overflows,finds its way in to my room through my bathroom gully and succeeds in convincing me at my half asleep state that I have been washed away to the sea in my sleep and now I'm stranded,floating about the surface on my bed.And here I am,mopping up my bedroom floor at 1 O'clock in the morning.

Took a bus ride to the old Alliance library today after a considerably long time(thanks to Ranjan who unexpectedly exploded when I returned my books after one month's delay.One month!I mean come on! What's the big deal??Sheesh!)Anyways,the point is,I couldn't have chosen a better day to get out of the house.Roads had been closed for some sort of rehearsal for this "very important" ceremony while the citizens of the country sweat away their breakfast of a slice of obscenely expensive bread on their way to their livelihood in over cramped buses taking a longer route than usual.I mean,its a small country for goodness's sake.Any pea brain would understand that closing of roads would create a significant amount of hassle in a country where transportation has always been cumbersome to a certain extent.

The streets were looking quite colorful though.Expensive looking banners flapped away in the dusty winds of Colombo while enormous cutouts stood tall and proud and smiled intimidatingly at the agonized,rather irritated travelers stuck in over loaded buses.Fancy lights twinkled and winked along the roads and it was all very delightful but I couldn't help but wonder how many not-so-privileged families with multiple kids with their own swarm of uncles,aunties,grand children,cats and dogs and the like could the whole cost of all this psychedelic beauty could have fed.Yes,I am quite the party-pooper,I admit but you know......Just saying........... :)

Sitting right next to me in the crowded bus was a man,probably my father's age,starring out of the window,clearly fascinated by the spectacle of all this colorful manifestations on his way home from work.On his lap were several packets of rice.A thousand thoughts crossed my mind and I wondered how much longer his family would have to starve while this man,tired after an abominably long day of work,stuck in heavy traffic finally gets home(it was late enough as it was) and how much longer this man will have to suffer inside knowing that his little ones are fighting the stomach worms at home.A sigh escaped his tired lips as I watched.I felt sad.He reminded me of my father.

And me,cramped between two very grouchy people in an over loaded bus with an obvious pervert of a man standing right next to me trying to peer down my shirt,overtly exhausting himself in order to gather what he could out of my  non-existent cleavage(it was a high necked t-shirt for God's sake),jeering in quite an obscene manner and I actually found myself smiling.I live in a kingdom of almighty kings and princes where the food is plenty and the riches are so abundantly overflowing that gambling is made legal and "porn stars" are being publically humiliated and lovers holding hands are assaulted for "public impropriety".All that is missing are ginger bread men that talk,friendly ogres,talking donkeys,cats in boots(dubbed by Antonio Banderas *swoon*) and fairy God mothers with narcissistic prince Charmings hogging the lime light.And here is this man,who is standing right next to me,waiting for his chance to rub against me and possibly try something else at which I was more than ready to pounce on him and take out a tooth or two,and there is this other mentally disturbed specimen of a man,positively feeling the backside(for lumps and other irregularities maybe?) of a very disgruntled Saree-clad female who was very clearly helpless with both her hands occupied by very heavy bags and hanging on the overhead bar of the bus in an attempt to keep her balance.
A semi charmed life indeed! Woohoo! \m/

Bat-shit grouchy

Not in a good mood today.

Have you ever had one of those days when you are as chirpy and sun-shiny as a dirty-dancing leprechaun throughout the day and you go about your work prancing around as if you've swallowed a rabbit or a kangaroo and it's quite happily kicking around in your belly and you're dancing to the tune? But then the teeniest tiniest little incident ruffles up your grouchy feathers,makes you put on that miserable wig of yours(remembered Shrek3 and Rumpelstiltskin which always makes me smile but today,it just didn't work) and you end up as glum as an overfed pig being led to be slaughtered?Well,its just one of those days.Its one of those days when a hug and a kind word can do wonders for you and you would absolutely die for a sympathetic smile or a loving word from someone that means something to you.You know that you are just so unforgivably pathetic for needing that affection so much and that leaves you feeling even worse.You feel like an abandoned puppy at a roadside,left there by the owner because he no longer wants him nor has the time to play with him and you are just huddled there in a corner,scared and lonely craving for that loving pat on the head,that scratch behind the ear that would make your tail go waggety-wag wag wag.Sometimes a little pat on the head,a little scratch behind the ear is all it takes for us to make it through the day....

.........which is why I always make it a point to stop by and spend at least a minute of my time on an abandoned puppy when I see one(which explains me huffing and puffing up the hill in quite a flurry and always end up being late for lectures).Its not just that I know exactly how they feel but I also consider them as the most adorable,the most precious little things on earth that could bring a smile to my face no matter what.I cannot bring them home(which I once did however until I got the red notice from my folks when the whole household got overpopulated with K9's.One more and my mother will probably chase us both out and the poor innocent thing will probably suffer more with only me for company because I just might have to steal his food for survival) I guess it feels good if you at least took a few minutes off of your tight/not so tight/jobless schedules just to make a stranded puppy feel cared for at least for a while.It is important that they know that the world is not so scary after all......It must be terrifying facing a daily stampede of giant people rushing past,on,over,behind and infront of you without even a mere glance at your direction,an meager acknowledgement of your existence,almost trampling you down at times.........

I actually prefer animals to human beings.They are the only beings capable of "unconditional love" as the jargon goes.A comforting hug is often not even asked for,they will come up to you,look at you with those adoring eyes that just express a million things(including "I'm hungry,I wanna pee and I'm just bored) but also conveys to you that you mean the world to them(even if you suck beyond human imagination in real life), knowing if something's wrong with you in an instant without you even having to utter a word and cuddle up to you without even a second thought.If that doesn't make you light up like a Christmas tree and make you feel like a hundred million dollars instantly,I don't know what would.One would quite vehemently argue that humans too are perfectly capable of "unconditional love",but I would happily stand on my head,balance 48 foot balls on each hand and juggle 23 kilos of frozen chicken with my bare feet the day I witness with my own two eyes an instance of human unconditional love.(note to self - gather up some frozen chicken,find 48 foot balls,practice standing on head and juggling with feet just in case)

How DARE anyone say that women are so demanding when sometimes all they need is a kind word and a big,tight hug to make their boats float? Surely,it's not too much to ask when the more filthy privileged of the lot take comfort in yachts,diamonds,sports cars,million dollar mansions and moisturizers with real gold flakes(spoilt bitches!) Oh well.....Nobody said that life's going to be fair.It never is.....



With that,a very grouchy Lady Grouchalot retires to her lair with a mug of hot tea which eventually does make her less grouchier but ends up keeping her up for the rest of the night......Life is not fair *sob*

Early morning mishap

Lady Grouchalot is very much peeved :/

You are woken up early in the morning by a very loud,very annoying knock on the door reminding you that you have classes today and you drag your groggy,extremely reluctant self away to the bathroom,perform the basic rituals to make yourself look more presentable than usual,mistakenly brush your teeth with the face wash and not realize that at the time because you are too sleepy to give a flying eff (excuse my French),walk in to a few walls,bump in to a few things,curse abundantly,get dressed,go to the extra trouble of digging up your earlier notes,the course book and the rest of the jazzy brass,stock up on your self-amusement material(yes,I at least take along two fictions to the class and plenty of papers to scribble on and doodle away just to pass the time and avoid the dim wit morons that like to swagger along and come sit next to you and chat you up.Forget about that kind of grievances,five hours sitting on your butt can easily bore out a gal,specially a one like me who just CANNOT sit in one place for more than 15mins).You even get your extremely nerdy looking reading glasses ready(some say that they are sexy in a very nerdy,librarian kind of way)purely for the purpose of appearing more serious than you really are,stock up on the tissues,download more music(again for the purpose of avoiding unwanted contact with the wrong people) and finally,FINALLY you get out of your room only to find out that the class is cancelled! This is when your murderous tendencies start to surface with knives,pitch forks,chain saws, nun chucks and what-not,but not knowing exactly who you want to kill can be a problem sometimes.So once again fuming from head to foot like an overheated radiator,you climb back up the stairs,drop everything on the ground and flop in front of the computer,pouring over your grievances on a complain blog.

There is,however a plus factor :)

You get to see The Darling which would have been totally impossible if you went to class today :)

Maybe cancelling the classes is God's way of saying "Awwwwwwwwww.......you kids are way too cute to be kept away even for one day! The Sri Lankan constitution can wait,you two go smooch(celestial harp and chirping birds).God is kind :)

Anyways,I'm still sort of groggy and well aware that my Pj's are starring at me longingly from the bed.So I guess it's time that I get in to those again,jump right back in to bed and snooze off for another hour or so.Sundays are meant to be slept in,not trundle along to a class where the lecturers seem to be trying extra hard to make you fall asleep.

Good morning everyone! I'm heading back to bed *yawn*

Mosquitoes!

This post is specifically dedicated to that glorious kind of breed that feeds on human blood scientifically referred to as Varies that the God almighty created to plague us all and that would absolutely not answer to any repellent ever invented.We,the common folk like to call them as mosquitoes or the kind of nuisance that flies.

Me and mosquitoes did not use to have any issues in the past. In fact, we used to get along pretty well until late when suddenly they started to see me in a whole new light.Somehow or the other,it seems that I have suddenly started resembling a walking blood bank.Oh yes,feel free to just swoop in and prick me with those minuscule needles of yours,I'm here for your drinking pleasure! Do they have ANY friggin' idea what trouble my bone marrow goes through in producing all that blood?? Do they even care?? Really,the nerve!

As a child,on the rare occasions when I catch a mosquito alive,I used to cut off it's proboscis and release it again so that it wont be able to sting anyone again(Yes,I was a very angry child)For a long time I believed that,this was the reason why mosquitoes did not bother me much(Yes,and a very fanciful one too)

Sometimes I wonder if they really are vampires incarnated.Maybe it's the other way round.Mosquitoes die and get born as vampires doomed to roam the earth as tortured,soulless creatures forever! Ha! Take that!

But I've always had a thing for vampires.I mean really,I find this tragic,forlorn,unwashed,blood sucking,brooding mysterious type quite attractive.That was at least until Edward Cullen walked in and ruined it all for me.I mean,honestly,a vampire that sparkles like diamonds in the daylight? I mean,Cher sparkles,Lady Gaga sparkles,even Snoop Dog,Nelly and the like sparkle in all their heavy,hopefully lightning-proof bling bling, but why,oh why the vampires?As if its not enough that they are doomed to roam the earth lonely and miserable forever..Sigh....Tragedy.It's almost like a metal artist walking around in a tutu and ballet shoes...But then....Ahhh...u'l never know ;)

Its fascinating how the female species react at the mere mention of the name Edward Cullen.They gasp,become quite breathless,turn this interesting shade of grey and blue in the face and then suddenly,they are as red as dirty beet-roots that have just been dug up from the mud.A common phrase that is frequently uttered at such occasions-"Edward Cullen,you can suck my blood and watch me fall asleep at night!!!!!!",followed by a series of sighs,moans and shrieks which leaves me quite confused in trying to determine wether they are dying or having a sort of a spontaneous congregational orgasm on the spot.Needless to say,all this hullabaloo makes ME want to suck off their blood in a noble attempt to make them all zip up and rid the world of the sound pollution and all that slobbering.Honestly,it's rather annoying.

Anyways,like I said,vampires are quite attractive in their own dysfunctional ways,but mosquitoes however are rather irritating.Which is why right at this moment I'm scratching away at the mosquito bites on my arms and legs,cursing the grand mothers,the great grand mothers and the great great great grandmothers of the Varies species,determined to lead the nation in a mosquito holocaust one of these days.Enough said I guess,I got some mosquitoes to crush.Hope y'all have a mosquito free night! Hate it when they come and make that annoying weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeing sound in the ear.Ugh!

Rainy day blues....

Alright,here we go,another glorious rambling,courtesy moi for your exclusive reading pleasure :)

It’s been raining the whole night and quite naturally, every time I went within the close proximity of an electrical item,the thunder would roar.Thunder being the simultaneous cry of my parents and the sudden increase in pressure and temperature from lightning producing rapid expansion of the air surrounding and within a bolt of lightning alike(explanation of thunder-courtesy of Wikipedia.com),asking me if I intend on blowing up the whole house,myself,parents,the dogs,that annoying servant of ours from the cinnamon gardens(that’s another story for another day),dogs,geckos,rats,cockroaches and the like.Therefore,needless to say,it has been quite a boring night.I had been trying to read,to write,to sleep,to dance(at the sound of which I was benevolently reminded again that it was lightening outside) When all attempts to entertain myself failed miserably,I switched on the computer(after making sure that my parents are fast asleep of course) and decided to blog.Sigh…..Writing can be such a magnificently forged outlet sometimes.I am a woman suppressed,suppressed within the brick walls of my own house,deprived of the material comforts of TV,Internet and other things that keep me entertained….Sob,sob…..

Sigh….Not in a very good mood really.Feeling sort of…..Well,glum…........ :(

Anyhow,I have decided that I absolutely do not want to grow up.And most of you out there would quite energetically nod their heads with me on this one.Growing up equals responsibilities and that is an equation that I shall never like.I think I just told that to my dad today.And I’m still wondering what was up with that slightly worried expression on his face.

Its raining outside and I can think of a myriad of exquisitely aesthetic(harp),gracefully picturesque(harp),sublimely euphoric(harp) things to say about the rain,but for tonight I shall prefer that warm,scented,candle lit bath,complete with Opeth (Purrrrrfect for rainy weather)which will fix my mood in a jiffy and send me drifting off to that land of harp playing cherubs(I have often wondered what they would look like with electric guitars),soft,feathery clouds and solid gold wine goblets that some of us mortals like to call as heaven.Off I go then!lAdios to the world till I come up with another blog post that makes no sense at all to the world……I love you all :)

If anyone's interested...

I just realized that I haven’t blabbed on this blog of mine for quite a while.And yes,I also do realize that I have been sulking away quite a lot lately and looking at it now,I realize how much of a sourpuss I have been and that just makes me flinch.Well,what can I do,the past month had been,well…I had actually never seen anything like it before.First there was the exams and then there was something else and suddenly my life had converted itself in to his whole big ball of twisted yarn,scrambled eggs and  Bam!,I suddenly find myself right in the middle of a blockbuster movie that would have destroyed,shattered and trampled down box office records and made even Steven Spielberg wince with pain.There was drama,there was suspense,there was romance and unprecedented pain and a whirlwind of emotions that would have possibly thrown you in to a nervous breakdown from which you would have never recovered. And I would have taken a smug little bow right at the front of that movie theater which by now will be brimful of mumbling idiots who have flipped their limit of endurance and gone bonkers and are trying to climb the walls with terrified expressions on their faces and ahhhh……I can just feel the glory brushing past me only to return and bitch-slap me full in the face …Ha! Wouldn’t I have been a VERY happy director indeed to cart them all off to a loony bin! I could just imagine my Oscar moment,or even my Nobel prize moment…who the hell knows!

Anyhooo,I’m here live and kicking with the uni closed(again) and vacations underway but with two pain-in-the-you-know-what assignments clawing at my back,digging their unnaturally sharp and dirty finger nails in.Honestly,have you ever heard of the sort of vacation where you have to be stuck at home completing these stale,foul-smelling,outdated assignments squinting at the computer screen,cursing the day that assignments were born? (Or rather the whole education system that drains the life blood out of us poor hapless students like demented vampires who had been starved for centuries and centuries of dreadful loneliness) which brings me to another one of my favorite topics..Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeen!!

Yesterday,or rather the day before yesterday was Halloween and it was over before any of us could even utter a mere “Boo!”. That was unfair considering the fact that it is the only day of the year that most of us citizens of the freak-ville could let ourselves go and really be our weird freaky selves for once.And I’m wondering,does anyone even know the real origin of Halloween and what it stands for other than just dressing up in the freakiest outfits that you could muster up and haunting the various,supposedly trendy clubs that so lavishly endorse in these “Halloween parties”?  Honestly,the dead would be wailing balefully,tossing and turning in their graves by now,mourning the decline of the only day of the year that had been dedicated in their name.Honestly,isn’t it bad enough that they are dead already?

Well,enough said,I’m feeling rather noddish right now.Its been a hell of a month and I feel it still taking it’s toll on me.Well,as the old(or not so old) idiom goes,what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger(which doesn’t apply to most diseases I suppose),I guess I emerged out of it older and wiser and hopefully,a whole lot less stupider than before.It taught me to appreciate a few things that I’ve always sort of taken for granted because they have always been there for me without any lapse.Like my family for example.I have realized that when the whole world walks out,and even you yourself have given up on you and leave yourself to just wither away and die,it is only your family which will always be there for you through thick and thin.I am so very grateful to whoever is up there for blessing me with such a wonderful,life giving family who I know so very well will always be there to catch me when I fall.And even if they are not quick enough to catch me before I fall,they will at least pick me up,clean and nurse the wounds till I heal and be my arms,legs and body till I shall be able to walk again.God has been good to me.He always has.And I feel grateful,I really do.So instead of complaining, for once I shall make this an opportunity to thank God for bestowing me with such a blessed life.So thank you God. Even though life does throw heavy,rather irksome burdens such as exams and assignments and other crappy things your way,just remember folks that there is a silver line in every dark cloud.And God never lets you down.All you got to do is have a bit of faith,close your eyes and pray.Miracles do happen.And everything will be as it should be sooner or later :)