I know! They are just trying to establish a fresh and flourishing, able-bodied nation, overflowing with health and vitality. Shah! Mara plan ah! I'm still dumb founded by their abounding prodigy!
I just can't believe that people are still complaining. See, it all started with the price increase of bread. The aim of this scheme was to discourage the people from consuming bread and encouraging them to consume red rice, jack fruit, kurakkan and ala, bathla in order to grow strong, fit and sturdy like the Sinhala Yodhayas of the earlier times. But the idiotic people of our country just couldn't take a hint and continued to eat, eat and eat, grow fat and fill themselves with cholesterol continuously. As dismayed as they were, the poor, helpless altruists from across the lake were forced to stoop to more drastic measures. Food prices were further increased as a result and we Sri Lankans, dumb as we are (made dumb by being fed "imperialistic" food according to "imperialist conspiracies" of course) protested and shouted vehemently, blaming these saintly gentlemen to be selfish, corrupted and concerned about nothing else but their own selves. But wrong as we were, they were only thinking of Sri Lankans as a nation, concerned solely about reviving our health and reducing obesity, cholesterol and other such fatal conditions by encouraging lesser eating among the citizens. Tsk, tsk at ourselves people! We were blaming THEM all along!
The benefits of eating raw has been preached time and time again but nobody paid any heed to this valuable advice dished out ever so benevolently all over the island time and time again. Once again, due to the innate stubbornness (and the imperialist induced stupidity of the people) drastic measures were in place. Up went the gas prices, thereby depriving the people, the ability to cook their food over a fire, thereby forcing them to eat raw. However, once again these imbecile Sri Lankans couldn't take a hint as they found alternative methods of cooking their food while others continued to purchase gas at higher prices and refused to conform to this uber healthy suggestion thus presented to the people by their caring, benevolent leaders. One could almost hear sighs of disappointment all the way from across the lake.
It was not long ago that many areas of the country started blossoming with trekking pathways for ordinary people to walk and exercise at leisure. The Independence Square was refurbished with fancy lights, walkways and other paraphernalia, while more trekking paths were budding with great enthusiasm across the country. The disappointing factor was, even after spending a little fortune upon these ventures, the people ever so heartlessly ignored these honest attempts of the authorities of making the citizens walk. Once again, desperate measures were in call to make the people see the light and coax them in to shedding some sweat rather than sitting in their air conditioned vehicles all day. So when the fuel prices hit the roof, the authorities had the pure, pellucid, authentic intention of making people walk more. People grumbled, rebelled and the poor noble souls who lead the country wetted their pants in fear and as precaution, all armed forces were summoned from the North East to Colombo with the aim of controlling the rabid, enraged mobs who have just had enough interventions to last a life time. One such person's brains were blown out while several others just "disappeared" in to murky white vans and that settled the matter it seems. All was at peace once again in our little island haven.
Increasing fuel prices still did not get the people's attention towards the kind of healthy life that they should be living and they still continued to misuse their respective modes of transportation to roam about the country without shedding a bead of sweat. The leaders were evidently saddened by the callous idiocy of the people and yet, they were not ready yet to give up on their beloved citizens who they cherished like their respective bank accounts. In addition to people absolutely refusing to get some exercise, the cities were being grossly polluted by the gases emitted by the ridiculous profusion of honking vehicles roaming the streets in swarms. The authority from across the Diyawanna were in tears with snot dribbling down their noses in steady, lumpy streams. They could not understand how and why the people could be so careless about their health and the health of fellow citizens, not bothering to abandon their air conditioned vehicles, in turn polluting the air as well in the process. All this was atrocious beyond all words of the Malalasekara dictionary put together! The solution came in the form of the increase of vehicle taxes which deprived the ordinary citizen of their ability to purchase a vehicle in this life time. So people MUST walk now, they have no choice! As one cannot afford a vehicle these days and they cannot afford the bus fare either, what with the increasing of the fuel prices and all, people are forced to walk. What a thoughtful leadership we have and we in turn, must be grateful.
Remember the Nazi Regiment with their rather resolute obsession over the supremacy of the Aryan race, the blond haired, blue eyed kind? Reminiscent of the good ol Nazi days, the single-balled Hitler chap and the gas-conditioned playrooms of his favorite pets, the Jews, today we have a "Healthy Regiment" which shall regulate the population of our little island country, situated far far away from Europe. However, the beauty of the fact is, the "Healthy Regiment" does not discriminate according to race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender or any such deciding factor. Everyone is treated equally in this regiment (except of course the leadership themselves who have so very selflessly decided to sacrifice their own health and bear the brunt of excessive comfort, sucking the people dry of their riches and thereby also their unhealthy habits as a result) Its good health for all!! We are indeed, blessed.
Now with all the excess food and the oil consumption during the Avrudu season, the government is once again very concerned as I heard. The food prices are due to go up once again as a means of regulating the health issues that may come up due to excessive consumption of the season. We should be glad and so friggin' proud that our leadership is quite capable of thinking on their feet and providing timely solutions for emergency situations such as now.
Why all the fortifying and the obsession over health you ask? Well, the aim is to build a nation of yodhayas (giants) like the good old days, who are fed with homegrown, organic vegetables (because one cannot afford to buy them from the market anymore), red rice, jack fruit and what not, in order to battle it out with America and other "imperialist interventions" like one wise bearded man across the lake once suggested. So this must be our very own, homegrown battle plan against America for bringing up that distasteful resolution against us. Be afraid America, be very afraid, said a nonsensical bearded man from across the lake. We yodhayas fed with rathu bath, Kos and other healthy food grown in our own backyards are coming, with the adorably nonsensical bearded man leading us from the forefront! I should have realized this earlier noh, without grumbling about everything. If I did, the name of this very blog may have been something else entirely. Such ungrateful people we all are I tell you! Gotta admire the genius minds of these people. They say that Einstein's IQ was 160 and they consider him a mara pora. We really should test the IQ of the people from across the lake. I'm sure that it would turn quite a few heads and raise a few eye brows if we did so. Shaaaaaaaa...... mara plans these people have. They could have surely fooled us what with them playing the dumb ass in media, rambling the most moronic nonsense and all!
Monday, April 16, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Random Ramblings
Its been quite some time, I know. Well, things have been quite hectic and since this is the New Year week, I've been a little bit released form the ordinary flow of work. Well, I've still got some paper articles that I've got to hand in and then there is all the Avrudu stuff going on which hinders me from getting any sort of work done. Its all hustle, bustle and rustle of the preparations over here :)
Oh and another thing, Lady Grouchalot has been offered her very own column on The Island!! Yes, yes, I've been dancing about it for quite sometime, but then nothing's been finalized yet, so we will wait and see what happens. Will definitely post here when it goes on for sure.
Btw, decided to go ahead and unleash a collection of poetry and this time, I am DEFINITELY going ahead with it. Poetry has always been a part of my life. I write when I'm sad, I write when I'm happy, I write when I'm in pain...yeah, mostly when I'm in pain I write. Poetry is indeed a great device to dissolve all that hurt and the stinging that you feel every once in a while. Poetry has always been my escape and solace so my words have always been honest, gritty and quite dark in poetry. But that is exactly what I am. I do not write rainbow fables (ok, so there's this one poem called "Somewhere over the rainbow" written for the Darling of which I'm quite fond of really, but that is about it), my little pony pink goo that people can nicely sit at their coffee tables, flip the pages with their manicured nails and read while sipping their mochachinos. But this time, I am putting myself out. I am revealing myself, spilling out my insides, full frontal and unadulterated, in all its rawness, bloody and unwashed like a new born babe just out of the womb with the umbilical cord still uncut. No more hesitation. This is my poetry. This is myself when I fall to pieces, this is my own flesh and blood, sweat and tears splattered across the pages in words. Take it or leave it and I wouldn't give a rat's tiny behind if you call it poetry or mere ramblings of a delirious mind.
Been writing a novel, but the progress is slow as my "work" usually swallows up most of my time. Writing for a living has this way of draining all your energy that you have no time nor the desire left to do any creative work at all. But times shall pass and I shall make some time. I'm quite fond of this story that I am writing really. It has been inspired by some of my childhood memories of visiting my mother's ancestral home. The background is that but the characters are pretty much fictitious. Writing the novel is fun really, it gives you this God-like feeling. You are the master of the puppets (I mean the characters) and you pull the strings. But after some time, you get so attached to these characters that it gets creepy sometimes. Either way, this novel has its way of sucking me in to and I usually do not feel time go by and as a result sometimes, I abandon my work. Which I literally cannot afford right now because I am planning to publish the book with what I've earned so far without any help from my darling parents who would only be too willing to take it upon themselves. But no. They have fed me, given me a good education, they have made me in to what I am today. As a 24 year old, I need to be able to stand up on my own feet and fend for myself. I want to make them proud. And I know that I will.
Missing music badly. There's been some pretty bland gigs that have been organized to which we have participated out of sheer lack of good live, head spinning music and the hunger remains unsatisfied. Which excludes the No More Marx concert held on the 31st March of course which was quite something to rant about. It was the first time I saw the dude perform live and I quite liked it. Even wrote an article on it which is to be published in the Grouchalot column in the paper. It was, indeed, an article worthy concert.
Tsunami scare yesterday and watching all those people clamber about for their dear lives really made me think. It must have been like deja vu for the down south people all over again, having to grab what they can and run for their lives. Just can't imagine what it must have been for the survivors of 2004. It was like a nightmare repeating itself. Daddy Dearest was already at home (thank God) and once we managed to bug The Darling to come early from work and crash at our place for a while, it felt cosy and somewhat protected to be surrounded by all the people that I loved and cared for, but imagine how it would have been for the families whose parents, children or spouses have not yet returned home. To top it off, buses have stopped travelling, leaving those of who do not own the luxury of a car stranded in the middle of nowhere. Just hope to God that no such tragedy shall occur again like that of 2004. More people killed in just 10 minutes than the entire number of lives lost during 30 years of civil war. Turns out that Tsunami is indeed the bigger b****
Somewhat nodding off. Its been an eventful day what with all the preparing of sweets and what not. I just adore the hustle and bustle of the season, the variety of smells wafting through the house, merry noises, laughter, its all very lively. For me, this is what Avrudu is all about. Family. Love. And happiness. And tomorrow, more oil-oozing goodness of the season and more happy cheer :)
Oh and another thing, Lady Grouchalot has been offered her very own column on The Island!! Yes, yes, I've been dancing about it for quite sometime, but then nothing's been finalized yet, so we will wait and see what happens. Will definitely post here when it goes on for sure.
Btw, decided to go ahead and unleash a collection of poetry and this time, I am DEFINITELY going ahead with it. Poetry has always been a part of my life. I write when I'm sad, I write when I'm happy, I write when I'm in pain...yeah, mostly when I'm in pain I write. Poetry is indeed a great device to dissolve all that hurt and the stinging that you feel every once in a while. Poetry has always been my escape and solace so my words have always been honest, gritty and quite dark in poetry. But that is exactly what I am. I do not write rainbow fables (ok, so there's this one poem called "Somewhere over the rainbow" written for the Darling of which I'm quite fond of really, but that is about it), my little pony pink goo that people can nicely sit at their coffee tables, flip the pages with their manicured nails and read while sipping their mochachinos. But this time, I am putting myself out. I am revealing myself, spilling out my insides, full frontal and unadulterated, in all its rawness, bloody and unwashed like a new born babe just out of the womb with the umbilical cord still uncut. No more hesitation. This is my poetry. This is myself when I fall to pieces, this is my own flesh and blood, sweat and tears splattered across the pages in words. Take it or leave it and I wouldn't give a rat's tiny behind if you call it poetry or mere ramblings of a delirious mind.
Been writing a novel, but the progress is slow as my "work" usually swallows up most of my time. Writing for a living has this way of draining all your energy that you have no time nor the desire left to do any creative work at all. But times shall pass and I shall make some time. I'm quite fond of this story that I am writing really. It has been inspired by some of my childhood memories of visiting my mother's ancestral home. The background is that but the characters are pretty much fictitious. Writing the novel is fun really, it gives you this God-like feeling. You are the master of the puppets (I mean the characters) and you pull the strings. But after some time, you get so attached to these characters that it gets creepy sometimes. Either way, this novel has its way of sucking me in to and I usually do not feel time go by and as a result sometimes, I abandon my work. Which I literally cannot afford right now because I am planning to publish the book with what I've earned so far without any help from my darling parents who would only be too willing to take it upon themselves. But no. They have fed me, given me a good education, they have made me in to what I am today. As a 24 year old, I need to be able to stand up on my own feet and fend for myself. I want to make them proud. And I know that I will.
Missing music badly. There's been some pretty bland gigs that have been organized to which we have participated out of sheer lack of good live, head spinning music and the hunger remains unsatisfied. Which excludes the No More Marx concert held on the 31st March of course which was quite something to rant about. It was the first time I saw the dude perform live and I quite liked it. Even wrote an article on it which is to be published in the Grouchalot column in the paper. It was, indeed, an article worthy concert.
Tsunami scare yesterday and watching all those people clamber about for their dear lives really made me think. It must have been like deja vu for the down south people all over again, having to grab what they can and run for their lives. Just can't imagine what it must have been for the survivors of 2004. It was like a nightmare repeating itself. Daddy Dearest was already at home (thank God) and once we managed to bug The Darling to come early from work and crash at our place for a while, it felt cosy and somewhat protected to be surrounded by all the people that I loved and cared for, but imagine how it would have been for the families whose parents, children or spouses have not yet returned home. To top it off, buses have stopped travelling, leaving those of who do not own the luxury of a car stranded in the middle of nowhere. Just hope to God that no such tragedy shall occur again like that of 2004. More people killed in just 10 minutes than the entire number of lives lost during 30 years of civil war. Turns out that Tsunami is indeed the bigger b****
Somewhat nodding off. Its been an eventful day what with all the preparing of sweets and what not. I just adore the hustle and bustle of the season, the variety of smells wafting through the house, merry noises, laughter, its all very lively. For me, this is what Avrudu is all about. Family. Love. And happiness. And tomorrow, more oil-oozing goodness of the season and more happy cheer :)
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