Birthday!

I am officially twenty four now. I was very much comfortable with being twenty three and just when I get used to that fact, I turn twenty four. How unfair!

Celebrations have been postponed due to Brother Dearest's arrival tonight. OMG! He will be arriving in the SL in a couple more hours and I'm so excited!!!

Birthdays get me excited too. I guess it has everything to do with how my childhood b'days were spent, every birthday morning waking up, going downstairs shivering with anticipation, not really knowing what awaits me downstairs. A beaming Mother and Father dearest stands at the foot of the stairs along with a groggy looking Brother Dearest, scooping me up in their arms and showering me with kisses as I worship their feet. There's always goodies for me, a fresh bunch of flowers, roses in a nice vase, presents and a really touching card that makes me tear up at the words which I hastily brush off, not wanting to appear silly. Birthdays make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Although it does mean that I am getting one year older and thus an year closer to death, old age and its miseries, I'd gladly cherish that warm, fuzzy, cuddly feeling to that dreading of wrinkles and crows' feet any day.

I found myself shaking my head and smiling at the memory of a surprise birthday treat some years ago. I remembered the gazing, the love, the warmth. Memories are funny things. Guess I have a way of seeking refuge in beautiful, warm memories when all other things get so cold and hurtful. Oh well........Bless my ability to lose myself within my head. I would have gone crazy if it wasn't for that.

Had a lovely day with the family and The Darling yesterday. Received the sweetest gift from him which made me go back in time to the very first day that this great love of ours was first discovered  (spotlight from heaven and heavenly voices singing hallelujah) and got us both in to trouble. But the greatest gift of all this year is having him with me, closer than we ever were, no matter how hard the times are, whatever issues that have come up and whatever problems that still keep grinding at the seams at this very minute. Well, it'l all be over soon he promised. And I'm looking forward to that, the beautiful times we had without a worry on our minds, the carefree and joyous attitude towards life and a brilliant future that just seemed all ours to claim. It was all too wonderful, all too good to be true this past of ours and I'm so nostalgic for those carefree times of the past right now, to have a free mind and to know that everything is as they should be, to hold him in my arms and KNOW that everything's in their rightful places where they truly belong. I wouldn't have to be so afraid to feel then, I wouldn't have to control my feelings, I would be able to let the love flow and inundate the place like I would have loved to. I want to be able to dream again. Although some plans of meeting up with some friends failed, I'm glad we had some intimate times together. Its good to know that nothing can affect our feelings towards each other, his or mine and believe me we have gone through hurricanes, Tsunamis and all natural and unnatural disasters imaginable together. These are just tests of time, testing the durability of our foundations, the commitment and the love and we embrace these cruel but necessary tests because so far they have only proved that it is solid and unbreakable and will withstand any sort of conundrum that life throws at our faces. Its amazing how times had changed, we have grown older but the feelings which had braved hailstorms, thunderstorms and sandstorms (perhaps not as courageously as I would have liked to) still remains the same if not amplified. These babies are strong. They wouldn't fall out that easily even if we wanted them to. Which worries me sometimes because like I said in my earlier post, letting go has to be done without a struggle, kicking, screaming or holding on all too tightly.

Alrighty then, morning lectures and I have to get myself ready. Birthday is over and its time to get my sweet ass back to work. This is just a post that I felt obliged to write in honor of a date of august importance in history  (ahem) and is written in quite a hurry. Forgive me for any grammer, spelling mistakes that I may have made or for the lack of humor or anything that was earlier there in these posts. I write this with a heavy heart as it had been these past couple of weeks. And a hurried conscience that I should probably get ready right about now :S

Oh and I was born on a 6.6.6. As in 6th June 87. Add the year up to get a single digit and you get a 6. Explains much? :D