Microscopic things and the launch of my official complain campaign against Dialog TV

Nod if you've got that one(two,three,four,five,etc...) pair of microscopic shorts that you knew you wouldn't be able to wear,but bought it anyway just because it looked really good on you or simply because you felt that you needed to be more daring and do something outrageous or just because you felt that you deserved that gorgeous thang.Nod if you've still got it neatly folded(or all balled up and thrown in to the mass tumble of cloths) still unworn,open up the closet from time to time only to look at it and sigh,maybe put it on,twirl in front of the mirror,fold it and place it back (or ball it up and toss it back) to a corner of the closet where you had previously found it.Nod if you've got that one(two,three,four,five,etc...) pair of microscopic mini skirts that your mother positively gasps at,at which your father clears his throat,which your servant just gawks at and which your dog just....ignores.They've seen you in your nappies(they've seen you without your nappies for God's sake),so I don't understand what's so terribly scandalous about wearing something that is slightly longer.

Let's face it,we've all had our scandalicious outfits in our times,even our parents who now critically raise their eyebrows at anything that is less than below the knees.I've even seen photographs of Mother Dearest in the skimpiest of outfits,smiling angelically for the camera as if she had never deprived her only daughter from the same clothing privileges she enjoyed as a young woman herself.Therefore,I filed this case against my mother on behalf of my poor,hapless cloths,and used these photographs as evidence for my case(which oh-so-mysteriously disappeared shortly afterwards), Mother Dearest Vs My poor shorts.I suspect gross foul play where the evidence had been unabashedly tampered with by an unrelenting hand.And then,tempering with the evidence is yet again another crime that should be dealt with separately and with the due weight of the matter.In any case,I lost my case due to the lack of evidence and pure,heartless thuggery.I know the culprit who messed with the evidence though.I saw her smiling slyly,casting smug looks at Father Dearest The Honorable Judge which led me to suspect that the judge too had been unashamedly bribed.But since a suspect is always innocent until proven guilty,I decided to rest my case(which was once again out of sheer helplessness of living in a society where even the judges fall victim to the vile criminals on the prowl) *sob sob*

That aside,I have decided to launch my official hatred campaign against Dialog from now on.DTV positively sucks.Well,it didn't use to suck before,but ever since a week or so,it has been constantly interrupted and by now,it has completely failed.We have tried everything,we have lodged multiple complaints,we have tried tweeting about it @ Dialog Axiata but so far,not a squeak from that end.Lodge a complaint,talk to a customer care executive and all that they could say is that they cannot help us because(a looooooooong list of excuses,technical mumbo jumbo and all that blah)and this list of excuses has been extending itself to the eternity and beyond ever since last week when the problems first started.Well,I'm the sort of person who has fervently practiced patience and is quite capable of putting up with almost anything and who complains only when things get absolutely unbearable because we are all human after all and we are entitled to our own share of mistakes in our life time.But when those mistakes get way out of hand and beyond and if one doesn't even care to understand nor care to apologize for the inconvenience caused to the others for those mistakes,patience gets a little tired of being walked all over and starts protesting(It might even become murderous,you never know)Therefore,I am fully and completely entitled to a complaining extravaganza after a whole one and half week of no TV.What does a girl have to do to watch some TV around here eh?

Anyways,I'm done complaining and getting quite sick of it now.Might as well go and do something productive than sit around complain to a herd of deaf elephants.So off I go! Have a good day everyone! :)

Life indeed is funny

Oh no!! :O

Just realized for the first time that today is the last day that I will be seeing my babe-licious poopsickle for the whole of next week!!!! Oh nooooooooooo!!! Unfairrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! :(((

Yes,I shall be leaving for Galle mid next week and I shall be gone the whole weekend and since Darling-doodle wont be coming to Galle with me, I shall only get to see him after I come back! That is,if he doesn't find a way to come to Galle at least for one day which I so,very,sincerely hope for *fingers and toes crossed*

Life is just so funny it seems.During the last GLF,the only things I really missed were my huge-ass mug of milk in the morning and my ultra comfy bed which I have all to myself all through the night sans predators who steal my pillows and blankets(coz my bestie-beastie who shared a bed with me last time kept pushing me off the bed,kicking and stealing my blanket all through the night,that little meanass) Last GLF,I was a free flying bird,afraid of nothing and no one,having nothing to miss,nothing to leave behind,nothing to lose.But I guess this time,I shall have a lot more to miss than just my milk and my bed.A WHOLE lot more than that.

Last GLF,we were work partners,the best of friends,the very best that you could ever hope for,the kind that wakes you up at 12 midnight and keeps you up till 5AM talking about this,that and everything and nothing in particular,driving all our friends in to seizures of mental torture in trying to guess what exactly it is that's happening between us while we laugh our equally mischievous heads off at their accusations of concealed love relationships going on behind their backs (because at that time,we hadn't the slightest of such intentions) But this GLF,we are lovers,partners for life(witnesses of "We-knew-it!!!" expressions on friends' faces) and still also the best of best friends who not only share the minutest details in each other's lives but also have become the single most significant characters in each other's life stories.We are no longer work partners though,coz they decided to kick me out once we went public as a couple :( And THAT dear kids,is the story of how they lost their cherished copy writer :P

Well,it's amazing how time flies.Only a couple of days away from one year down the line,we are still here holding each other tight through the many trials,the extra-sucky situations,predators-predatresses,tsunamis,earth quakes,floods,mood swings and exams later,still going strong.Each day is a day of new learning,a day which binds us closer through unrelenting love,understanding,acceptance,brutal honesty that cuts and pricks at times which ultimately results in unsurpassed reliability.No sugar coatings here,no buttered and honeyed words that slip through easily and give you diabetes, cholesterol and other unmentioned stuff.Seems like by now we both have come to realize the sort of psycho-monstrous creatures that we are dealing with and eventually come to accept the fact that we are the only individuals on this planet who are capable of both taming each other's inner demons(believe me,they exist) or either igniting them in such a way that is both frightening and both passionately stimulating as well.Best of both worlds,wouldn't you say?

And whoever would have thought.The two crazy-ass fire spirits who used to swear on lifelong celibacy,who cared about nothing else but the freedom of mind and spirit,who laughed off all bonds, shrugged off responsibility and relationships,gagged at the sight of lovey-dovey couples,finally bound together,to fly,to soar up high,to reach in to the sublime together as one? Life indeed has its own funny ways.Which indeed,is a VERY good thing :)))

Babies and stalkers.

Today was a day of babies.Everywhere I went,I kept bumping in to babies,babiesand more babies!

There were babies on each and every side of me in the bus today,so I ended up starring at this toddler who was squirming in his mother's lap out of sheer boredom when he suddenly turned and gave me this "what-the-hell-are-YOU-looking-at" look which was quite unnerving actually.He kept on giving me hostile looks which made me look up and notice the positively satanic,red eyed bus conductor who was sneering(and I mean SNEERING) his rather sharp looking,beetel stained teeth(that looked liked he had been snacking on human blood lately)at people.

Unable to keep my eyes fixated on that sight for long(for the fear of being devoured alive)my eyes once again fixed themselves on the infant in the seat in front of me.She was cooing and gurgling with her mother(I have trouble telling the gender of babies unless they are wearing something that signifies their gender coz they all look so much alike to me,all bald-headed,beady-eyed and toothless.So I knew it was a "she" because "she" was wearing something that resembled a frock and bangles on both her hands.Bangles!Honestly!) She had the usual perpetual surprised expression on her face that all babies have which is usually interpreted as "ooh!what's that?What's this?Can-I-eat-this?" and rolled her little alien eyes(some babies have eyes that are completely covered by their pupils that the white part of the eye is barely visible which gives them a sort of an alien look)and noticed,marveled upon and fantasized about everything in sight.That is when she landed on me looking at her.She takes one look at me,stares and starts laughing in this hiccuppy sort of way that left me quite baffled.I was actually worried that the child might choke,not to mention worried about the eerie nature of that bordering-on-manic laughter.Then there was this other infant in his mother's lap who was starring at me straight,without blinking,without a single expression on his face which once again left me feeling queasy.Well, at least the other one laughed.

It was a demonic bus ride home right from the bloody-teethed zombie of a bus conductor to the weird starring babies and I got off the bus pretty creeped out with eerie nursery tunes playing inside my head.I normally like babies,but today was just too weird.You never know what's going on inside their teeny tiny heads.I wonder what kind of nuisances we were when we were kids.Well,I wasn't much of a pain as a kid as I heard.I ate my food,slept when I should be sleeping and never woke up in the middle of the night and came running to Mommy Dearest complaining of monsters.But then I was a child who had preferred vampires to fairies,Edgar Allan Poe to Enid Blyton and Horror stories to fairy tales as a kid.I remember writing about funerals,graves and ghosts when all the other kids wrote about their pets,beautiful mornings and flowers.So yeah,my morbid taste for the macabre starts from a very young age as you can see.

I was stalked yesterday,and you must probably be thinking that I should be used to the stalker situation by now.It's a rather creepy feeling anyways when a vehicle would drive for a few yards in front of you,stop,wait for you to pass and then drive on for another few blocks or so and wait for you to pass continuously all the way home.I instantly switched gears to my break-teeth-crush-bones-mode and took my own sweet time to turn from this road to that and try to lose him which I eventually did.Two years ago it was this tattooed,pierced individual in his mid or late twenties(Mother Dearest positively freaked out at the mention of tattoos and instantly put me under 24hrs surveillance) and now,it's an elderly man in his mid fifties with a balding head with unnaturally black hair(the result of being dyed I guess) and an equally black mustache.Have I suddenly started being appealing to the old(er) generation or is it just a crude reminder of the fact that I'm growing old? Or have I simply started looking like the naive and gullible,stalker-victim material? Either way,bummer!

And I'm wondering why all these stalker types use black vehicles.Yep,both of em used black cars.To enhance the dramatic effect and the sense of mystery perhaps? Maybe even to glamorize the whole creepy-stalker scenario,who knows.And who cares.

Anyways,stalkers and babies aside,I'm quite satisfied with my thesis material and am beginning to get all cuddly-cosy with it,which is a really good sign.Yup,it does look like our darling Baudelaire and I are gonna be stuck together for life.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to Galle!!! With only a few days away I can barely wait! Too bad The Darling wouldn't be able to make it there though.Wish he was there.It would have been just divine cuddling on top of the Galle Fort,late night walks on the beach,the sun sets,the sea,music and the rest.....sigh....Galle is just so ideally romantic and you end up falling in love all over again.Romance just jumps out at you out of the sea waves,ensnares you and doesn't let you go.And then there is this other idiotic woman who also happens to be my best friend(among other wicked things) who absolutely refuses to come for GLF this time.Such a moron that one is.Last time we had so much fun,the sea baths,the late nights on the fort,sigh.....bliss.Gonna miss her so much this time.If it was up to me,I would bind and gag her,fold her up,shove her in my travelling bag(never mind the fact that it'l weigh 60kgs+) and drag her there somehow(will have to find a goods carrier,but never mind),disregarding the fact that I shall be killed by her hubby dearest in return.Sigh......Oh well....There will be no one to aim rocks at innocent little crabs below in the hope of killing some so that she could have them for lunch.There won't be anyone to cry out mutton at the sight of unsuspecting herds of adorable goats grazing,minding their own business.I shall miss her so very much (*ducks a well-aimed kick and flees as a certain disgruntled female chases after her yelling blue murder*)  :P

I'm feeling sleepy suddenly.Should grab a nap soon before Mommy Dearest yells out dinner.Have a pleasant evening everyone! :)

Dinner parties

I hate these mass dinner parties.

On another hand,you come across many types of fascinating specimen which in turn will keep you well entertained and occupied during the whole of the event.which of course is a very good thing.

First of all you get the nosy,loud lot.They come in like screeching banshees,yelling greetings at the top of their lungs,their humongous boobs ahoy that threaten to engulf you if you're not careful,rush out to hug you,slobber all over and smear your face with their bright colored lipsticks. Next is the scrutinizing stares. They look you up and down,brows furrowed with concentration,their mouths rolling words in their mouths,getting ready for the strings of observations that follow their scrutinizing gaze.And then the exclamations begin. 'My! How you've gone down child! You look like one of those Ethiopian children that they show on Discovery! Doesn't your mother feed you men?Anee Sumana,look at this child will you men! Used to be like a ball noh?Now look the size!Stick insect only!" or "My! What have you been  snacking on? You look like a blue whale men! Come,come,not to worry,I've heard green tea helps.How to get a good boy to come and marry you looking like this?Boys these days like skinny girls noh.Not like those days when my boobies got the boys talking*giggle*" Or "My! Looking all pretty now aren't we?Grown fair also.What you using men?I used curd and turmeric the other day like they said on TV and got a nasty rash on my face men.Been to the salon noh?Got a facial?" Or its "Aiyoo,how dark you've grown child! Used to be such a pretty little thing when she was small.Now see will you...Aiyooo...". Or simply its "My! How you've grown! Look how tall now! I remember when she wore only nappies and went crawling around the house pee peeing all over the place.Pee peed on my lap also *giggle,giggle,snort* and leaves you wanting to choke on your own tongue and die.

And then if you're lucky,they will forget all about you amongst their arguments over whether the house had been repainted or not,how Mr Nakandala next door had been sneaking around behind his wife's back with a mistress who is only half his age and how his wife had sued the shirt off his back and how now his young mistress has abandoned him and parades around with another man.Really,the place is like the TMZ of everyday life.

And then there's the wanna-get-you-married-off-to-someone lot.."So,so when's the wedding ah?"*wink,wink,eye brow wriggle* As I look around puzzled wondering what wedding they are talking about,I'm once again bombarded with questions of what he( who?* quizzical look*) does for a living,his parent's(whose?*quizzical look*)occupations are,hometown,school,whether his grand parents(whose?*quizzical look*) were original descendants of so and so's and ultimately comes back again to more winking,eye brow wriggling and sly when's the wedding wink winks,as you wonder how they've got to know and(look of grand enlightenment) when finally it dawns on you that somebody might have blabbed.Its   extremely difficult to escape this frantic lot and the best thing to do is smile and look down shyly up until the interrogating ends and they have arrived at their own conclusions about what color the wedding dress should be,who the bridesmaids should be and whom to order flower arrangements from.

And then comes the proposal mongers."Aiyoo,my sister's son still single no men.Girls waiting in line for him also,handsome fellow with a good job noh,good money also,but doesn't like anyone noh,aiyoo.Relatives of (throws around some very influential names in the political arena) so and so also  Met this one(nods at my direction) at Yashi's wedding last year and still talks about her very fondly men.This one(nods at my direction)good height also for him.That one(nods at the direction of her absent-on-spot nephew)six footer noh.But this one(nods at my direction again) went and found one all by herself.Don't know which way these kids are going these days men..sigh..." and I duck the semi hostile glances and retreat in to a cosy corner all by myself where I wont be accused of anything else.

And then there are the gentlemen.They would sit apart from the ladies,sipping a beer/vodka/whiskey/etc and do their own small talk,once in a while nodding in the general direction of the ladies, acknowledging their presence,in the midst of talks raging from the stock market,to the socio-political situation of the country,the tea market,the cricket world cup to who is getting married to whom and who;s cheating on whom.For all those who thought that men don't gossip,they do.And they do it better than the ladies mind you.

Then there are the mummies.They would run behind their toddlers/kids/fully grown children the whole evening,telling them to mind this,take care of that,not to go here,stay there,asking them if they are hungry/thirsty.if they want to pee,etc.What amazed me is the amount of vigil they have over their kids and everything else.It really does seem like they have a hundred pair of eyes to mind their own food plate,the pranks that their multiple children are up to,to see if their servant girl is flirting with the servant boy from next door and to make sure that the husband doesn't drink too much while also making sure to join in the small talk of the ladies and to notice what everyone else is wearing.Omniscient I would say.

And then there is the generous,gentle host who is hell bent of stuffing the hell out of you,urging you to take second,third and fourth helpings when you can barely breath.But then,that's pure motherly love over there.

And then there is the quiet lot,like myself who would sit and observe,nodding at a comment here,laughing at a joke there,speaking when we are spoken to but all the time fully alert to the surroundings,making observations,taking notes.Coz life really is interesting with a fascinating combo of people of different genres,tastes and life styles.

Finally escaped the havoc and mayhem and managed to arrive home.It's like walking in a mine field really coz you never know when you will step on a land mine and when something will explode in your face,showering you with exclamations,hugs,snotty kisses and the like.

Tropical island no more? *sob sob*

I cant feel my toes.Seriously.

According to sources,this is the first time in 61 years that the temperature in Colombo has gone down below 19 degrees.And here I am curled up on the chair with both my legs folded under me(coz the moment they touch the ground,my hair stands on its end) all three of my sweaters,a pair of wooley socks and a set of chattering teeth looking like an extremely paranoid astronaut afraid of catching a cold(or an unidentified alien disease) out there.

All in all,the weather during the day is muy encantador out there.The sun is no where to be seen,there is a cool  breeze verging on the cold blowing all the time and it looks as if this eternal evening in the upcountry has decided to descend on us Colombo folks.Walking home from uni yesterday afternoon,I should have been dead beat,crappy exhausted and hating the whole world in all my grouchiness but being gently lulled by that cool,refreshing breeze,I felt quite alright.This is comforting weather.It does make you ravenously hungry though.

It's already 2011 and drastic climatic changes are taking place.Many people have died due to natural disasters and the others are suffering,shivering in their socks from the cold.It really does seem like the world will end in 2012,and I'm thinking.Here I am,staying late nights,starring at a computer screen,examining the bottom of countless cups of hot coffee,yawning away like a hippopotamus,working/hacking away at a thesis that still seems as vague and frail as a spider's web that will blow away on the gentle winterly breeze.We are typing away precious time when what we really should be doing is digging out underground waterproof bunkers in our backyards to save ourselves from the apocalypse.How incredibly moronically ambitious we humans are.Still concentrating on our fuzzy little nebulous careers and a future that is as hazy as a monkey face in a fog when all that we should be doing is trying to save our lives.Fools!

By the way,I saw one of our neighbors,covered from head to foot with scarves,jackets and what not,cowering behind a tree on my way home yesterday.I was quite puzzled coz she is considered to be quite a fearless,one who will come running when a thief is caught to throw a stone or aim a kick at his crotch and maybe do more if only she was allowed.She would roar in this mirror shattering shrill voice and declare to the whole world that she has absolutely no fear of any ************  and that she will not hesitate to kill em all in a ridiculously brutal manner,cut off their balls and hang them at her door (yes,and she utters such things in a voice that is more than sufficiently audible for the whole neighborhood to hear and we usually get the pure Sinhala unabridged version which is quite disgusting yet fascinating) as she claims that she is afraid of no one.So a very confused me followed her absolutely horrified gaze only to land on an innocent looking cow who was crossing the street,minding its own business,completely unaware of the fact that she was under intense surveillance of a camouflaged individual in her watch tower from behind a tree.When the cow was well out of sight,our brave neighbor fearlessly steps out from behind the tree,brushes wet moss,dry leaves,twigs and the like that may have lodged themselves on her,looks around and continues her journey to bring bread from the bakery with her chest thrust out as if nothing happened.I walked on as if I hadn't noticed anything for the sake of her dignity.Well what d'ya know,our oh-so-fearless is after all afraid of cows! Hee hee... :D

About this fascinating creature,I have not yet mentioned in this blog I suppose.She is a spinster of about 54 who lives with her bed ridden mother who everybody in the neighborhood suspects,but haven't found proof to be suffering from a very rare mental disease.We would have found it easier to sympathize with her if it wasn't for her unimaginably vile and sneaky ways.But that of course,is another story for another day.

So here I go finishing yet another blog post under a gloomy sky,positively feeling the chill in my bones.I for one,can endure any amount of heat,but find it extremely difficult to deal with the cold.Hopefully things will change or else we will have to make drastic changes to all the travel magazines on Sri Lanka that defines it as a tropical paradise island where the sun shines all day,every day and there's never a dull day in sight.I am a proud,brown skinned Sri Lankan by whose tanned skin,wild gypsy hair,tropical goodness of mangoes and pine apples,exoticism and boastings of sun and fun every day has bewitched and aroused the envy of many a pale skinned starry eyed foreign individual who shiver in their cold and clammy environments and I shall not settle for anything less!

A grouchless post

This is not a grouch post.Actually,on the contrary.

This is a little note to take in to account all the blessings in my life which had made me in to what I am today(me being satisfied with what I am today)just to remind myself why is it that I feel lucky to be alive.This is for all you people that brings out the best in me and has always stood by me through thick and thin.Despite the coldness of the weather,I feel quite warm :)

This is for my family,loving parents who had always supported me,supported my judgments,my decisions,held my hand through tough times,carried me along when I could barely walk with fatigue.This is for my beautiful parents whose eyes had shone in incredible pride seeing me succeed,wept with me but stood firm and strong,breathed life when I lost all courage to go on.This is for my parents in whose eyes,I shall forever be a princess.

This is for my brother whose closure,despite the distance of many seas means the world to me,who had always so lovingly (and so bluntly sometimes) showed me my mistakes and what I'm doing wrong,always given me good advise(even at times when I didn't want to hear them) and had fully,completely and whole heartedly supported me in all nooks,corners,alcoves and declines of my endeavors(no matter how silly they seemed at the moment) and had always given the back up that I needed,always ready to smash a fist,break a bone on my behalf when needed.Yes,I do feel loved :D

And then there is this astonishing sort of human being that I tripped upon on my rock climb of life to whom belongs the weirdest of all food habits,the biggest heart that I know,the warmest of arms in which I find this ambrosial type of warmth,these incredible healing properties and brain splattering rejuvenating capacities which are more than capable of rescuing me out of the foulest moods,the crappiest days and most of all,the blackest of all black holes of woe and sorrow when times get pitch dark and there is no lamp post for miles in sight.It does not stop there.I remember cuddling up to his arms shivering with high fever,too weak to get up,move or do anything.I remember the  fever vanishing,a delirious mind being cleared of the confusing fog and  me scampering about the place,feeling better again in no time at all.Overwhelming is an understatement I guess.And then there is the bullying and the badgering.Yup,by hook,crook,grapple or angle he manages to get me up on my feet,fuel me up and set me on my way even when I absolutely refuse to budge my procrastinating butt off my comfy seat.Yes,he has his own charms you see.

Best friends to lovers is the way to be :)

Yes,I do feel blessed.I have all the love,respect and affection that I need and deserve right beside me :)

Just came back after watching a tribute to Master Premasiri Kemadasa on TV and went back in memory to the first time I tried a Kemadasa composed piece of music on violin and got hooked for life.I remember wresting with the notes,getting entangled in the violin strings,weaving my way through the bow threads and finally managing to pin it down with a huge contented grin on my face.Watching a Kemadasa symphony live had been one of my life's greatest wishes but I never got around to doing that.I was,however,lucky enough to witness the "Agni" opera about three years back which was one breath halting,astounding,goose bump raising sort of performance.His presence and the mastery on stage is just.....sigh....he is truly a musical prodigy totally and completely out of this earth and from somewhere seraphic yet so so real with a rawness and a solidity that is yet unknown to man or beast.I was downright miserable the day he passed away.I guess his music shall never grow old,it shall never wither away like many had come and gone before and after his times.It has a way of speaking to you in such intimate tongues that only your innermost thoughts and desires can comprehend it's depth and it's arduous zeal.It is raw passion on violin strings,it is grief flowing out of the flutes,it is the heart beat thumping out on the drums,it's the little pangs of anguish that springs out of those guitar picks.The originality,the authentication of it all just makes you scream,makes your hair stand on its end and ultimately sooths you,calms your senses like an abysmal meditation that surpasses the subconscious and everything else beyond human understanding and sense.There are a very few people in my life that I greatly respect and consider as idols,as people well worthy of worship and reverence.Master Premasiri Kemadasa is,was and will always be at the very peak of that list of very few people that I bow down low to this very day. Because not only was he a phenomenally gifted musician,he was a great human being.A human being that is more than worthy of God-like treatment which he did not receive during his life time.

Which reminds me,I should take up my violin again.I used to have such fun with it,it is the perfect sort of instrument to just close your eyes and play out your anger,grief,fatigue and indifference ever so eloquently.Must be quite rusted by now.

Anyways off I go then and finish off this not-grouchy note because I'm practically nodding off and I don't think I realize what I'm typing now.Good night every one.I shall have pleasant dreams tonight :)

Crappy day

I have recently taken to moaning,groaning and roaming the house uttering occasional aiyyoo's and anee's looking like somebody just died and left me only their blind cat in the will.At 23 years old,I'm already feeling like 100 years,back bent with the burden of a monumentally crappy dissertation,numerous researches(yes,we haven't seen the end of research apparently),exams and the like.

Well,its rather like maintaining a blind cat really,this sweet little dissertation of mine.I don't like cats much,but I cannot let it die alone,untended either.So here I am,tending to my blind cat,giving it all the love and affection that I possibly can while life goes on,yes it does go on.

I feel like a blind cat too sometimes.Not knowing where I'm going,just sniffing along the trail of other blind cats who had followed the same path before me.Its not a good feeling you know,not having the support nor the guidance to go on.You just end up feeling lost.Living converts itself to surviving and managing converts itself to hanging on for your life while us poor folks wonder on,not knowing what hit us and what we have gotten ourselves in to,slapping ourselves in our minds thousand times and over.Mais c'est la vie,n'est-ce pas?

Have to go for classes in another hour.Go there,sit for five hours straight,listening to the lecturers droning on and on about constitutions,passing laws,human rights and the like.There are just so many laws to protect the people in this country,to help them lead a fairly contended life.But it's just depressing how many of them are implemented properly.Sad really.

Guitar fest was good.The place was packed and I just wish we were there early enough to grab seats.It's the first time in a long time that I witnessed some live Flamenco music after my Flamenco dancing days.Ah la joie de vivre! La joie de danser! Would have been awesome if it went on for longer though.AND it would have been better if they issued tickets or channeled the crowd at the entrance itself to avoid seating problems and the clumping.This is the sort of music that should be listened to at total peace of mind,seated at peace without herds of people breathing down your back.We only realized that the hall was air conditioned after the performance when the hall has been emptied out.It was way too stuffy in there.If everything works out that way,we shall be looking forward to another Guitar Fest next year as well.

I'm thinking of going in to meditation,yoga just isn't enough anymore.Kick boxing sounds good too to let loose all that pent up rage and depression.Plus it would occupy me with the necessary self defense skills to beat the shit out of anybody who annoys or irritates me the next time.

Heard that a three week's intense army training is going to be offered to the students awaiting university entrance in the future.Whoever thought of that idea deserves a thousand hugs and kisses and a life time supply of balloons and confetti.Just sayin'

Wish that it was introduced during our times though.Imagine the number of teeth that I could have smashed,the number of faces that I could have disfigured.Ah....pity...

Yes I did notice that I have become quite murderous of late.But this IS a grouch blog,invented for the sole purpose of grouching,bitching,sulking around,so I shall grouch,bitch and sulk about anything,everything,anyone and everyone as I please in here.

Oh and one more thing,although I wear a pentacle that doesn't make me a witch.Although I wish I was sometimes for the pure purpose of turning people in to frogs.But my wishes do have this uncanny way of coming true most of the time,although not to everybody's best interest.People close to me have experienced it more than a couple of times and now I'm careful about what I wish for.

And now I should hurry out to class before I invoke Mother Dearest's ear-blasting wrath.So have a good day everyone.Here starts my rather grouchy,whiney day with a grouchy,whiney post.

Conventions and social hypocrisy

Feeling rather sad.Not grouchy,just sad.

I've always been misunderstood.Partly due to my tube light-like disposition which comes up once in a while and the occasional misanthropic nature which gives people the impression of pride.But by now,I've come to terms with being misunderstood and eventually learnt not to give a rat's ass about the people who could not bother to know me better before forming a judgement.

The worst part in being misunderstood is being misunderstood by people who are SUPPOSED to know you better.Which makes me question,have THEY bothered to understand you at all? Talk about the epicness of the irony here.

It's just funny how some people claim to be the epitomes of unconventionality,preach about not conforming,laughing at people who follow the trends and all that jazz,but end up expecting others around them to obey and conform to the so called norms and conventions forged by social hypocrites,made to imprison free thinking and free will of the human kind.

I have always been a loner.I guess it's always easier not to conform and be the silent rebel that you want to be if you are a loner.People tend to leave you alone that way.But then God went and made human beings social creatures.Therefore it was necessary to form bonds which makes it harder for you not to conform.Because ultimately,the people that you have formed affectionate bonds with over time expect you to do so and when you don't, their feelings get hurt.Which most of us don't want to risk.

Which brings me to the issue of the all important "reputation" and the oh-so-significant "shaming my name" theory.My question is,if you call yourself a free thinking,unconventional individual,what exactly do you mean by a "reputation"? People I know have even sacrificed and have been willing to sacrifice things that are "supposed to" matter to them the most,they have even given up on people who have trusted them with their lives,loved them with all they've got just because they are "ashamed" to be seen in public with those people in fear of tarnishing their "reputation".So IS this "reputation" or this "image" so very important that one can even give up on somebody who loved them with all their beings and this "unconventional" person him/herself has declared undying love for them sometime back.Or does it simply prove that love for them is just a worthless aspect in their lives which they practice only when it pleases them and that love is not even a worthy competitor for this "image" of theirs? And here I go ranting about love and I'm starting to sound like an idiot already.

One day we shall all be like those Rhinoceros of Ionesco's.All grey skinned with a horn in the middle of the forehead.But will I be able to stand up like Berenger and proudly state "Je ne capitule pas!" at the top of my voice when all around me have conformed and are clawing at me to do so too? I highly doubt it.There goes my one moment of glory.

Sometimes I wish I did not have to associate with human beings at all.They are just so cruel sometimes and just so bizarre.Sometimes I wish that I could live in the middle of a pine forest,or in a small cosy cottage on a secluded beach with my own army of dogs who will keep me company and not expect me to conform.I shall spin out poetry night and day and stare up at the stars at night.I shall fall asleep to the sound of the sea or the night wind whispering among the pine trees.

But then I'm a woman who due to the inferiority of physical strength, is taken for being a weakling and is walked all over,trampled down and kept at my "limits".So I shall probably be robbed,raped and murdered at my own cosy cabin in the middle of the pine forest.And I shall forever be known as the crazy woman who got murdered because she was mad enough to live where it pleased her all by herself.And nobody would even care enough to investigate in to the matter.

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be a man and to be able to talk to anyone I please and to be able to hold an enlightening conversation with someone without anybody jumping in to outrageous conclusions.Because it's considered "improper" for a nicely brought up young girl to talk to somebody of the opposite sex that you know from somewhere out of courtesy, its considered absolutely horrendous,unspeakably shameful to hug/touch a member of the opposite sex unless they are your immediate family,its considered a scandal to have a good laugh with your male friends.What happens if I became a bisexual?Will I be banned from human company altogether then? Bat shit indeed.

And then there's talk that mini skirts are going to be banned in SL.Words of a very graphic nature have lodged themselves at the end of my tongue and are just screaming to be spat out.But I prefer to hold my peace, at least for now.Oh horror!!A woman's exposed legs are the ultimate weapon of destruction that threatens national security and will blow up our little tropical island to pieces!!! Oh no!!! Horrific water balloons indeed! Really! Is Sri Lanka blissfully heading towards a Taliban rule on the frills of a flowery mini skirt? Bloody hypocritical puritans!

Like I said,human beings...Weird creatures.Which is why I prefer solitude.One quizzical,bizarre human being( by which I refer to myself of course whose mood swings and rather odd ways sometimes even leaves me hanging) is hard enough to deal with let alone a whole country of them.I shall try not to trouble my little head with the unneccessary and lead my life in peace and quiet which is all I crave for at the moment.