Tranquility :)

Feeling of inner peace........how rare is that? And that is exactly how I feel right now.Inner peace...........

Haven't really had the time to write a blog post the past couple of days just because I felt guilty spending time tapping away blog posts that nobody is going to grade on the keyboard when I HAD other boring stuff to tap away which ARE going to be graded by unmerciful examiners pretty soon. So yes, life has been busy but calm and satisfying. The creativity levels are high these days too and I've been writing some highly insightful things lately and everything seems to be under control emotionally, physically, mentally. And what might not be under control are just........well, out of my grasp *indifferent shrug*. And I now know better than to worry about things beyond my control.

I have learnt many a valuable lessons for the past couple of weeks or so. More likely, its been a constant journey of learning throughout these past couple of years. Yes, at first I got excited, angry, even upset, got overtly happy and then got overtly disappointed only to arrive at this juncture in my life where serenity is valuable more than anything else. And as our Great Lord Buddha has preached centuries ago, I have understood now that the middle path is the way to go. A sort of a passivity if you may, but I like the feeling. Its so peaceful and so quiet and I haven't felt this way in a very long time.

Its all about giving your best, doing the best you can, being the best you can, doing good to others, self-sacrificially sometimes and just being hopeful for the future. Its about not accepting much and being satisfied with what you have and knowing that you have done the best you could and the rest is up to the rest of the world as what happens is beyond your control and there shall be no regrets no matter what happens. Its about putting your faith and trust in that higher power which guides us all, putting your faith in destiny to do what is right for you. Justice will be served and those who do wrong will be punished as well as those who do the right things will be rightfully rewarded. That's just how the world revolves and that has always been the case with me. The good has always been rewarded while the bad has been punished. Severely. And so far, I had always been guided down the right path and I trust myself to find my way, always.

Life is all about the lessons it teaches you, the things you learn, the maturation process. It knocks the breath off your chest sometimes but only to fill your lungs anew with a freshness that you've not experienced before. And while you go, you lose somethings only to gain something new, which are usually better than before if you are wise enough to make the right choices. Sacrifices must be made to attain something new. Be it your pride, the ego, the fears, your faults, habits, something or someone really important to you, etc. Nothing can be gained without first letting something go. Something must be given up to achieve something valuable. Nothing comes free.

The best part is there is no more fear. There's only calmness and acceptance, tranquility, knowing that I shall accept whatever that life ladles out to me, no questions asked. Its just that there are no more nasty surprises, I know that ANYTHING is possible at this point, so I won't be shocked either way. And as the extra bossy instructors during my Girl Guide days would constantly repeat over and over again to the point of making us sick : "Be Prepared!" I'm sure that they would be so bloody proud of me if they met the Girl Guide in me now :D

Its all about preserving your dignity and looking life full in the face with your head held high and yet being humble enough to admit a mistake when you are aware that you made one. Nobody is perfect. If you are not perfect, you just cannot expect others to be perfect. That's a fact of life.

What is important is this tranquility that prevails right now, this deep sense of inner peace. With so many things to face up to, with so many challenges, be it exams, thesis writing, personal endevours, important meetings that could change my life forever coming up in the next couple of weeks, I should be in a ball of jitters right now, but I'm not. I'm thankful for all the things I have in my life right now and I know many would kill to have what I have and I'm proud of it all. I have people who love me, who care for me and who are constantly looking out for me, and most of all, I have myself looking out for me. I am not afraid. Come what may, I know that this girl will brave it all single handedly, unflinching, unmoving and always, with a smile on my face. I've always been a fighter and what's more, I know when to let go and when to hold on. Valuable lessons learnt through many a tears and pain. I've grown up I suppose. Grown up to be the woman that I've always wanted to be. Yet I would retain my childlike innocence because it is important to me. I like returning to that inner child of mine once in a while when being a grown up becomes too tiring.

Tranquility......... I would not have it any other way :)