Ramblish - again.

Me is strangely philosophic tonight. Me is strangely restless too. Well, not that strange cz restlessness is sort of my second nature.

It seems Christmassy already and its not even December yet. There is that warm, golden and deliciously syrupy feeling already in the air. Its so very exciting this sensation. Its like the world is getting ready for this big, happening party and I feel left out. I feel uninvited. Which makes me sad :(

On the other hand it gets me all excited. And me thinks part of the restlessness is due to this impending festivity in the air. Me also thinks I may be going bonkers. Not that its anything new. Only going bonkers for real this time, which sounds fun, weirdly enough.

Thinking of going to Midnight Mass this Christmas. I've never been to one my entire life what with us being Buddhists n all. My parents are usually up for anything but this being midnight, its usually very hard to drag them out at that time. I'd just like to sit there, soak up the hustle and bustle, watch the proceedings. I think it would be an interesting experience. I've always wanted to do it anyway. But never got the chance.

Speaking of going out at midnight, what's up with all these robberies going on these days? Its like Sri Lanka has suddenly gone underworld and has more gangsters and highwaymen than whole of Hollywood, Bollywood and Kollywood put together. And it seems these robbers always come wearing helmets on their heads so that people won't recognize them. The solution? Beat to a pulp anyone wearing a helmet. Sounds good to me. During my years of using public transport I've broken quite a few bones and teeth. I'm the violent kind that enjoys beating bad people to pulp *evil grin*

There's been a lot of murders too lately. For an island so small the numbers are horrendous. What is up with the people these days? Has the value of a human life gone down along with the depreciating rupee? Or are Sri Lankans pea brained morons and have been pea brained morons all along and it just took time for their selfish, pathetic, pea brained, moronic qualities to emerge? Associating with certain people here you do start wondering from where all these petty, conniving and unspeakably low qualities come from. Sometimes you become too shocked for words. Its just so sad. For a country so beautiful and so blessed, we Sri Lankans could be setting an example to the world with kindness and generosity that seemed so abundant in its natives long ago but what is now seen as a weakness and a reason to walk all over. This used to be a better place. But then again, it may have always been like this and I have not known it what with me always having been a very protected child (and for obvious and very good reasons too it seems)

It has become so bad that you are grateful for the smallest of the kind gestures, the most ordinary of common civilities. I feel so grateful when a stranger holds open a door for me. Or when at the supermarket, people smile and talk pleasantly to one another or someone pulls out a trolley for me or picks up something that I dropped and hands it over to me. Or when someone steps on your toes or barges into you and apologizes with a polite smile instead of frowning with sparks flying out of their eyes or starring at you as if they are about to bite your head off. Several years ago a smile, an apology would have been very normal things.

And what is with the wed-a-thon going on in December? December is bedecked with the flimsy bows and gauzy veils of weddings. For God's sake, we have two weddings on the same day, one in the morning and one at night and we are required to rush from one to the other without so much as a breather or a dab at the brow!! Its like people are suddenly in a hurry to get hitched before the great apocalypse, almost like people are going "oh I don't wanna die a virgin" and grabbing the nearest dude/dudette and rushing off to screech out their marriage vows (not that I assume in anyway that brides and grooms are virgins and neither do I expect them to be) But honestly! I know a couple who knew each other for less than three measly months and they are to be married in December!

Yeah well, its no secret that people stopped marrying for love long time ago. Convenience is at the top of the list now, the next being social security and parental bullying. Well I miss the old world romance of marrying because you cannot be without one another. I miss the bitter sweet romancing of the old world. Do I sound too old? Well, I am only 25.

But it can be that in the olden days people married out of sheer desperation. Kids did not have the kind of freedom that they have now. Girls were locked up within houses out of sight and relationships were quite unheard of. Going third base usually meant holding hands and hitting home happened strictly after marriage those days. But there is no question that this method worked. Cz you practically marry this stranger and by the time that you've figured one another out, you are too old to bother anymore. Well it worked for them, no one's complaining.

In that sense, the modern day marriage seems much more honest. You have all the time in the world to get to know one another mentally, emotionally as well as physically. And I think its more romantic too. Well to know somebody inside out, know their weaknesses, their irritating habits, knowing that they get on your nerves so horribly sometimes and still wanting to marry them and dedicate the rest of your life to them, well it doesn't get any more romantic than that. Pity that most of us are so indecisive most of the time. One day you decide that you want to put up with all those annoyances and the next you decide that you can't. Hence so many divorces. I just wish that people could make conscious decisions and stick to them. And plus, just because you are in a relationship that doesn't mean you have to marry that exact person. The whole point of the relationship part is to know whether that person is suitable for the permanent vacancy that you need to fill in your life, duhh. Cz lets face it, nobody wants to die alone. You might as well have somebody to whine to about the aches and pains of old age by your side.