Thursday, October 25, 2012

Observations, declarations!

Decided to jot down some observations that I had made during my measly existence of 25 years. I shall now try to jot them down, trying to respect the age old commandment "Thou shalt not ramble" (which of course I never seem to respect).

1. Most new born babies are ugly.
Yes I said it. They are like little spider monkeys, all arms and legs and their heads are so weirdly shaped that its almost scary. But of course they flesh out and become rosy cheeked and adorable afterwards, but the first month or so they are really scary. But the surprising thing is not that, but the fact that no matter how ugly they are, people tend to go 'aneeeeeeeeee' and 'ssssssssssssss' and 'cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute" over them and repeatedly so. I find this highly confusing. Either they really are cute and my eyesight is horribly wrong or its just social hypocrisy with people wanting to seem sensitive and caring. I dunno.

2. Baby pictures, even the ugly ones get a lot of likes on FB.
Again, social hypocrisy or am I just blind? Don't get me wrong, I think babies are adorable but I wouldn't really be cooing at a not-so-great looking picture of a baby on the internet.

3. People who don't own a pet or wouldn't even dream of getting one "like" and share pictures of little puppies and kittens and what not on Social Media.
Really. Its downright ridiculous and sad as to what extent one would go to get some attention.

3. People always say "Congratulations" or "Good luck" when people get married.
I don't understand. Is it "Congratulations that you finally managed to trick an idiot into to marrying you" or "Congratulations on securing yourself a quality man/woman who is wayyyyyyyyyyyy better than you" or "*smirk* Good luck, we'l see how long it will last"? This is why I always smile and shake hands with married couples keeping my mouth shut at all times.

4. Couple photos, no matter how blurred, ugly or f****d up they are get more likes on FB than individual pics.
Its a fact. Even if its the most commonplace, ordinary, blurred, cliched picture, even if the guy has a piece of kola mallum from his lunch stuck on his teeth, even if the girl has a booger hanging from her nose, it still gets more likes than an individual picture. Is it because we are all caught up in this romantic dream where all couples end in happily ever afters, strolling away hand in hand into the sunset or is it because we feel obliged to "like" such pics as a sign of our approval to imply that we are happy that they are together? Individual pictures hardly ever get noticed and even the most artistic, beautifully unique individual picture would get lesser likes than a couple picture. Why isn't individuality appreciated as much in this country? Must we always strut around in two's all the time? Is two indeed, better than one?

5. Women remain a mystery. Most are hard to work with.
What I have found out is that there are two kinds of women. Ones who have got over the immature pettiness of jealousy, vanity and competitiveness with other women (this is the rare kind) and others who have not matured enough and remain whiny, needy and calculating for the rest of their lives. And then there's the assumed mystery that most of them put on which always baffles me as to why, why and why.
I have worked with women whose life mission seems to be being bitchy to others, specially fellow female workers. I've seen this very blatantly in women who are in middle management while women in top management seem to belong to the rare type who are beyond the childish vanity. Is it because they believe that they are weak and that they are incapable of performing that they feel the need to manipulate people to get what they want? Maybe they really are incapable of handling the pressure and resort to petty means to achieve their goals? Either way, its extremely unpleasant and I'm never too psyched to work with such people.

6. Men are drawn to the girly, immature, frivolous and mysterious types although it always ends up biting them in the a**.
I have absolutely no problem with that if they do not end up complaining about "women" in general all the friggin' time. There are perfectly sensible girls with both their feet planted firmly on the ground if you really do care to open your eyes and look beyond the pretty face and the fluttering eyelashes. So PLEASE don't generalize. Problem is that most men folk fall for the perfectly elusive, seemingly innocent yet mysterious woman who misleads, manipulates and plays games with their minds. Then they act like their balls are being squished by a heated iron spanner till they get the girl. But once gotten what they've asked for, they complain that women are nagging, whiny, fickle, clingy and what's more, dumb and incapable of doing anything by themselves! If you don't like em, don't date em, simple as that. Really, SUCH drama queens!

7. Working with men is easier.
By men I meant "men" whose testosterone levels are well balanced with the amount of estrogen their glands secret. I have met with foul and lowly specimen of men who are obviously suffering from testosterone overdoses and I've met petty, vain and manipulative creatures whose estrogen levels have long surpassed the accepted limits and turned them into sexless things. But I do know quite a few fine men who are well cultured and are "gentlemen" in every sense of the word and I am very proud of their acquaintance. So you see, the hormonal levels are crucial.

However,

8. Most men tend to think if a girl is being nice to them, she likes them in a way that is not entirely platonic.
No, no, no and no. Sometimes when you are instinctively compassionate and caring, this happens quite a lot. Its awkward. But can't really blame the boys what with the majority of womankind playing games with this poor lot. I feel sorry for them sometimes. They must be very confused.

9. People find it shocking when someone speaks their mind.
We ARE living in the 21st century after all. I mean, if we are all thinking it, what's so blasphemous about saying it out loud? I'm a straightforward person and I like that quality in others too. Of course living in this country, I've figured out that speaking out your mind isn't always the smartest choice if you wanna live to be 30, but I don't see why we shouldn't do it when it comes to more domesticated matters. Speak your mind, lay it out there. Life's too short to be solving riddles.

I'm bored. Don't wanna write this anymore. Adios! Buenos noches amigos, hasta luego!

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