Sunday, December 30, 2012

The end of a year approaches!

The Lady's head is quite muddled up. Red, yellow and fish rains, aliens, Sri Lanka coming on top of sex searches, brutal rapes, etc, etc, etc........it really is too much to wrap one's head around.

The world is enraged over the rape of one girl. Suddenly, protest against rape, the safety of the womankind has become the in thing. The world knows of one such victim but how many unknown victims are still suffering in silence out there? Did anyone care about them, did anyone bother to find out before all this? How many are being raped on a daily basis and how many of them have to live with the memory, the trauma and be disgusted with themselves, their bodies and live in constant suspicion and fear of the world? How many girls will never be able to trust anyone again as long as they live? How many girls will not be able to take off the dark glasses through which they look at the world and eventually end their own lives in disgust and depression? I'd say that this particular girl was lucky to not have to live with the trauma. An extremely brutal, tragic death I'd say but I still believe that she is lucky to not have to live with the memory for the rest of her life.

However, it is quite refreshing to see such passion, such vigor over the very necessary cause of stopping rape. Finally it seems that people have woken up. Hopefully the passion would not die down. Hopefully something would actually happen this time, for all the harassment, the rapes, the violence, all this has to end. The girl should be canonized for all the uproar. She is a martyr in her own right.

To top that off, I still live around people who think women are dumb (in their own words). I'm disappointed. Expected more, much much more I must say. Dunno what to make of it yet. This is quite serious.

And yet, a new year approacheth. 2013! Can't believe 2012 is almost done.

My new year resolution this year is not having any new year resolutions. The idea is to live each day as a new beginning, starting over each day, trying to become a new person. I've tried that for the past year and liked it very much. Feels good when you feel that each day gives you a chance to start over, to look over the mistakes you've made and your inconsistencies and make up for that. Its like having second chances everyday in your life.

What have I done in 2012? I have lived, I have loved, I have laughed, I have cried, I have sulked and pouted and then I have danced in glee and hugged myself in utter bliss. I have worked my rear end off, I have made my loved ones happy, I have spent precious times with them - moments that I shall cherish forever. And I've also achieved a lifelong dream that had always seemed only a dream : publishing a book. And what's more, a book that is liked and commented on very fondly! I've made friends, learnt a huge deal about human beings that I had been completely unaware of before, unlearnt quite a few things too. Its been a journey of learning, of experiencing and all in all, a great year.

Craving tea. And such cravings must never be ignored! Away goes the Lady to the kitchen quarters, robes rustling, mug clanking and all!

Friday, December 28, 2012

Christmas post

Christmas came and went. Wasn't as christmassy this time so there was no real sense of exhilaration as there usually is at this time of the year. Made Christmas goodies as usual, out of habit than out of enthusiasm and shared Christmas dinner with The Darling's family. Happy family time.

Grouchy as there has not been any worthwhile gigs or concerts to attend this season. The only highlight of the season was watching The Hobbit in 3D which was pretty awesome. Came home and watched the LOTR trilogy again. I have lost count of the times that I have watched that thing. Other than that things have been very much neutral.  

I suppose the apocalypse mania has not yet subsided. People are watching the skies for spaceships with bright lights while others watch out for red, yellow or fish rains. Now that war is over, we seem to miss it very much and try to find alternatives.

A nation of children we have become. They show us bright lights in the night sky and slyly increase the atrocities, the absurdities and the injustices that ail the country in the present time and age. And we succumb without fuss. I dare say we are easy to please.

The novel progresses slowly, 2-3 sentences a day which is pathetic. I'm just too lazy to sit down and type. Nevertheless poetry comes easy and lies around in scraps of paper. On top of all that, work looms. But I manage to finish all that in time. However, life is dull as we speak. Or as I type.

I'd like to go far away, help needy people, do something worthwhile, not for some snobby corporate purpose but for humanity.

The neutralness of neutrality. How very empty.

I guess I'm an adventure seeker. I need a new challenge.





Friday, December 21, 2012

Date with myself

Went on a date with myself. Not that I planned it, it just turned out that way. Nevertheless, I had a good time. Turns out I am very good company.

A quiet breakfast out with a book to keep me company. I sat there watching people passing by. It felt good just sitting there, not participating in the hubbub of life but just being a spectator. A rare chance I must say.

But there is a minus factor to it. A guy sees a girl breakfasting alone and he always seem to want to join in. Maybe we should carry "leave me alone" signs whenever we are out alone to avoid being rude to someone.

And then I ended up (not intentionally, but circumstantially) perfume shopping. This is something that I will never get tired of doing. Fragrances fascinate me. And this is something I like doing alone because I don't like impatient people tutting about me telling me to hurry up. I cherish these moments and I like taking my time deciding before I make a purchase (I do not like being disappointed in them you see). In the process, I discovered a bottle of Hugo Woman, (my signature perfume from a while back which I had no luck in finding afterwards because the perfume itself had been discontinued). I was pleasantly surprised and felt very very lucky indeed.

And then I ended up (not intentionally but circumstantially) sitting down, not doing anything, just watching people passing by. There is a beauty to that feeling you see, of having no aim, having absolutely nothing left to do, just soaking in the ambiance even if it is for a limited amount of time. Christmas was everywhere, the lights, the decorations, Christmas trees shining bright. There were also three people, a father and a daughter and another girl singing Christmas carols strumming a guitar. It was beautiful. I could have sat there and listened to them forever.

And then again I ended up lunching alone (once again, not intentionally, but circumstantially) and had the most beautiful of soups - Cream of wild mushroom. This was at Sugar - Bistro and Bar at Crescat. I would most definitely go there for another. Their apple pie was really bad though. Plus they gave me fresh milk when I asked for fresh cream to go with it. It was an utter disappointment.

And finally my date, The Darling did arrive. We ended up having funky, brightly colored ice creams at the Rio Ice Cream van on the Marine Drive. Wanted to watch The Hobbit in 3D, but turned out they did not have a 4.30 show. So the rest of the evening was spent at home with The Darling, watching TV, light banter and plenty cuddling.

What I did realize was, I really do cherish my alone time. Its quite a novel experience being left alone with yourself and your thoughts. Watching others is only possible when you are out alone. When there's more people, you become part of the spectacle, the drama. But when out with yourself, you are with yourself and you are able to do what you please. You are not obliged to speak nor are you obliged to think of anything else than what you want to think. And you don't have to be considerate, consider other people's wants and needs, you just do what you want to do, then and there. It is a great privilege, a luxury I believe.

Point is, I really did end up enjoying myself, although all of it was rather circumstantial. Conclusion - I should have dates with myself more often. I am a darned good date! :D


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Wedding post - 4

It's decided. I'm eloping. When I do make up my mind to get married and settled down that is.

No big, frilly, fancy and flowery wedding for me please. No long and torturous hours of smearing sticky gooey stuff on the face, draping yard after yard of shiny sequined material around myself. No bottles of hairspray and hair gel emptied over my head resulting in helmet-like hair that wouldn't crack even if a 1000 pound boulder ended up on my head. And certainly not dragging all this heavy garb around (followed by an entire battalion of photographers, video cameras and etc) visiting a countless number of tables to worship, hug, kiss and exchange awkward words and silences with people you may only see once in every few years!

No pretending to be all prim and proper, calm and collected with a bouquet of dying vegetation in my hands. I know I'm not the type, I know I would never pull it off, this shy, descent bride act. I could never be a protagonist of this well rehearsed satire. Even if I was made to, I would be very, very unhappy doing it.

All these weddings and they've got me thinking. I will not be human if I they did not get me thinking of my own self. Well, someday, one fine day when I am ready for the long haul, I will do it my way.

There is one thing I would want though. I would want platinum wedding bands. I am convinced that love is indeed the best thing in the entire world and therefore, that it deserves the best that there is to represent it, to remind one another of the purity of this emotion every single day of our lives. I would want us to be constantly reminded that we are the best for one another as there ever can be and that each one is precious to the other as nothing else would ever be. I would like to be reminded of that every single moment I look down at my hands. I would want him to be reminded of that.

Of course with all the cost cutting on ridiculous flower arrangements, glitzy cloths, clown makeup, hotels and other absurdities, we would be able to purchase several kilos of platinum to spare and a luxury honeymoon trip around the world.

I would want to throw a party of course for the people who love and care about us the most. A party where there would be a lot of dancing, a great fun party where there would be plenty of food and entertainment, maybe even fire eaters and stilt walkers. I'm thinking an entire circus! (Minus the clowns, the bearded lady and the animals of course). Live music by all our favorite musicians that we could get together. And bonfires, large warm bonfires where we could all sit around and roast marshmallows and cuddle by on a beach. That is what I would call romance, quietly settling down on the beach with the loved one after the frantic partying, and cuddling by a bonfire, gazing at the stars, preferably in comfy cottons and bare feet buried in the cool soothing sand.

And all this would be because we are thrilled to finally be together, thrilled about the brand new life we are about to start by ourselves. All this because the time is right, because we want to stretch out an arm and feel each other's faces and look into each other's eyes in a heartbeat and because waiting for a hug or a kiss for more than 24hrs is unbearable. Because coming home would mean a large, big squishy hug, plenty of smiles and much, much more love than you could ever handle. I would like that, to be smothered by love. What a way to go!

Not because you are getting too old to make children or people are asking you questions. Not because everybody else is getting married and you feel that you have to too. And certainly not because you feel you have to validate your love and commitment by law to make sure that the other person isn't getting away!  

What is not romantic are the blazing lights, the discomfort of cloths that are always a little too tight, worrying about the makeup running, being ordered about by photographers, nakath people, parents and event planners to be on schedule, to leave on time, eat on time, do this, do that - how very boring!

I know its every parent's dream to have their daughter married off at the grandest wedding that they could muster up. I have never been one to break my parents' hearts or let them down in any way. In fact, never have I done a single thing to hurt them in the slightest way in my entire life that I am almost ashamed of being so good. I've always been the perfect little girl who they've always wanted me to be, so this time, I think I deserve a bit of slack. I'm just gonna have to find a way to tackle them as softly as possible when it comes to this particular subject. I think they'l understand even if reluctantly. They've always known me to be an odd one, an unpredictable eccentric if you must. So I'm sure they will bend just a little bit.

Not just now though, I'm happy and comfortable with the way things are just now. Although nosy aunties always poke and inquire (rather aggressively at times) about my wedding plans and even my own parents subtly allude to the topic at times too, I'm determined to wait till I'm absolutely sure that I am ready. I do not mock the institution of marriage in any way, I think its necessary and I know that I will appreciate the warm and plump wholesomeness of conjugal bliss, a home to call my own and arms to curl up in at the end of each tiresome day. Its just the pomp and the fanfare that unnecessarily surrounds it that gets me rolling my eyes. But all in good time my friends, all in good time................



Monday, December 10, 2012

Wedding post - 3

Have you ever noticed the way women try to eat food without getting their lipstick smudged? It always makes me laugh, the way they open their mouths wide, draw back their lips and stick out their teeth (this reminds me of a cartoon horse that I've seen on TV) chomp off a gigantic bite (probably because this entire course of action takes quite a lot of effort) and munch away.

Either the fact that these perfectly painted women eat or that they would want to eat manages to shock me. I suppose this is because for me in my mind these painted women are china dolls, inanimate, fragile and perfect. And because of this perhaps I expect them to be all prim and proper and not wanting to eat. So when they open their mouths and shove in huge chunks of food into the deep, gaping crevices (which is not such a pretty picture), it shocks me. I suppose I'm too much of an idealist, or whatever you call my kind of people.

Completely off the topic, (well maybe not completely off) it is surprising how many women come into salons in a day to get pedicures. I just happened to be at the salon the other day (yes, to let the chirpy girls paint me up pwetty for the weddingS) to see five different women getting pedicures and two more waiting in the line. Believe it or not, never in my life have I ever gotten a pedicure. I think I can take care of my toe nails myself (maybe why they look simply horrendous sometimes, but that is another story). No wonder women of today are in dire need of yoga classes, exercise sessions, diets and whatnot to fight off obesity. They don't even bother bending over to touch their own toes!

I was told by a friend who is getting married soon that they are given full body scrubs weeks before the actual wedding date. I laughed and asked her if the salon people finally figured out that she wasn't a big fan of bathing. To see with my own eyes the next day when I walked into the salon (the very same day of chirpy girls, pwetty paint and hairspray) the salon girls scrubbing away at a girl with determined expressions on their faces. They all flocked around her, each grabbing an arm or a leg or a piece of torso. We were told that she was soon to be a bride and that it was her whole body scrub day. I was horrified. The girl in the chair was bearing it well. She had pursed lips and a dignified half smile on her face. I admire her courage. Her skin looked raw and red. It must have been very painful.

Ah women and weddings. I can go on for hours...................

Friday, December 7, 2012

Wedding post - 2

If anybody was wondering (I highly doubt it) I'm alive!!! Survived two weddings and I'm still standing! Well, sitting to be precise but I can stand if I wanted to :) It all passed by - the flowers, the excess of sugary sickly sweetness, the clone-like straight haired people in masks of makeup (I managed to pass with a minimal amount of that sticky gooey stuff smeared on my face), the super glittery sarees that are capable of blinding people with the glare (think we could save a fortune on electricity if these sarees are put into good use) It was a mad rush from one wedding to another but hey, I survived!

And these weddings, they are never about the couple are they? Nobody even notices the couple anymore. They are covered with ginormous bouquets/balls/vases/etc of flowers and God knows what else, towering cake structures made out of rigifoam and whatever paraphernalia that has been set up all over the place, the sea of people glistening all over the place, the hundred and one photographers/videographers crawling all over the place and etc. The only remnants that a wedding ever took place is the colossal poruwa standing in a corner quite forgotten. Its mostly about which hotel the wedding took place(the more expensive the better), how much the decorations had cost(the more gaudy the better), how elaborate the wedding cake boxes(again the more gaudy the better), how expensive are the bride's clothes and how expensive was the menu(which is probably the only highlight of a wedding, the food). Basically, a wedding today is a show of status of the parents, a competition of who holds the best wedding (with the most amount of nonsensical stuff that is of no use to anyone). Its like there's a competition out there for the most ridiculous function of the year!

And what's with that cake that nobody can eat? A cake is something that can be eaten, if a cake can't be eaten why is it being called a cake in the first place? I will never understand these things.

I know I am sounding a tad bit too all-knowing right now, (yesh, yesh Lady Grouchalot IS a bit of a know-it-all duhh!) but I'm really just wondering out loud here. Hmm...maybe one day I will understand. Just right now, none of these things make any sense!

Monday, December 3, 2012

Wedding Post - 1

So here I am body hairless and eyebrow-less (well, relatively less) ready for the weddingS tomorrow. The chirpy girls at the salon who are supposed to do my makeup tomorrow (I do not own any makeup and do not enjoy wearing any except for black eyeliner - a bare essential) insisted that I be hairless to look pretty tomorrow for the two weddings. Yes, TWO bloody weddings people, and back to bloody back!! And no coming home in between to grab a snooze either. Its from one to the other in a mad dash and then spending time staring into empty space for countless hours! Sigh............ If I do not report back, consider me dead from the excess of flowery powdery goodness, the fluff and the fanfare and the Godawful balloneyness of it all.

And everybody, including my own mother and even the people hosting the weddingS seemed absolutely shocked when I boldly declared that I did not intend to wear any makeup for the weddingS. Had no idea that I looked that frightful. So makeup it is :(

It seems that I am surrounded by weddings. Suddenly, everybody is in a hurry to get married, including my own brother. But thank God nobody's planning my own anymore. But I'm sure I'l get a lot of eyebrow wiggling, quite a lot of doomsday predictions of "you are next" and requests for wedding cake tomorrow. Sigh............aunties!

There is one wedding I'm actually looking forward to though, the wedding of two very dear friends who are tying the knot next week. So cannot say that my heart is completely set against weddings. Besides I'm waiting to see how The Darling is going to play his part as a Best man. I'm gonna enjoy watching him and his equally retarded friends make complete fools of themselves. Tee hee 3:)