Festive times, happy times :)

It's that time of the year again! Such hustle and bustle, such activity and beautiful smells wafting about seducing the senses. A few burns and cuts are absolutely nothing. You brush them away and bury yourself ankle deep in your dough/batter/mixture again. These are wonderful times.

Side by side with Mother Dearest, two stoves, having a chat over boiling pots of oil, laughing and sharing cooking tips, gossip and frivolous banter, frying kokis in competition with the other and laughing at each other's blunders, these are memories in the making. Precious moments to cherish for a lifetime. When the time is right, I want to make such memories with my daughter too. These are intimate memories, more precious than what one could buy. When the flesh, blood and the bones are gone a long, long time, these memories are what will remain.

Skin smells of spices - cardamom, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg blooms upon warm skin. Even after a nice cold bath on this unbearably hot and humid day, I raise my hands to my face and breathe in deep. The spices linger, middle notes, top notes, bright bold and ending sweet, serene and mysterious. What bliss! I could linger in this moment forever, but alas, forever in such moments are so awfully short. 

Beautiful days. Even the sun takes a break from its hegemony every once in a while. Still it is far too hot for comfort. Between iced teas, frozen yogurt and ice cream, life goes on.

Posted the recipe for kevum today. Do have a look! There will be more on its way from tomorrow onwards. Special Avrudu treats.

Life isn't perfect but one cannot deny that there are perfect moments. I don't attach much importance to superstitions of these festivals, but I do believe that we must celebrate these and celebrate these in essence. This is heritage, this is tradition. Without these, we will be shells. Just empty shells. 

Call me old fashioned, but I am a wee bit old school like that. I want to celebrate all traditions, I want to revel in my heritage. I want to get married upon a poruwa. I want to wear all seven necklaces, the sun and the moon in my hair and the traditional grandiose attire of Sri Lankan Kandyan royalty. I want to be escorted by a royal procession, booming royal drums and somersaulting royal Kandyan dancers. I want to boil a pot of milk on New Year, I want to eat, light the fires and start work for the New Year at the auspicious time. These things are special. It makes living worth the while.

Exhausted yet happy. Pumped up would be the word actually. There is much more to be done tomorrow - more cooking, more frying, more baking. Hello more blisters! Ah but they will be happy little blisters indeed! 

Await more recipes, essentially Sri Lankan, wonderfully unique. 

  

These rainy days

Rainy nights. Ooh I like this!

What I don't like is the pouring just when its time to get off work. I dislike mud with a passion. I dislike getting soaked after a hard day of work. I know, my relationship with rain is complicated.

Was stuck at work till a bit late today. Nights like this I rush home straight for mother's cooking. Nothing can replace that. Nothing.

After a warm wash, in my comfy pajamas, both feet up after having a full plate of mom-made rice and curry, I am a very happy girl :)

Afterwards perhaps, a nice mug of tea. Milk tea. With sugar. And a book for company. Oh I do love these solitary hours.

I have a certain quota for dealing with people per day. I can only deal with them until this quota expires. After that, I need to get away to recharge. Often time I do not feel like smiling or interacting at all. I need to be left alone when that mood strikes. This requires me to shut myself in my room and just read. Or write. Or simply, just be.

Yes I am a recluse like that. I often find company in a multitude of things and never feel alone when I am alone. I like my own company. It isn't too bad.

Completely random, something that irks me. Whenever I go for a client meeting, if it happens to be with a male colleague of mine, even though he happens to be my subordinate, the man is always assumed to be the boss and the only person who matters. Some clients have also been known to ignore me altogether right throughout. This used to happen quite a lot when me and my partner were working together.True that we both have our areas of expertise, but I often find people contacting my partner, rather than contacting me directly for matters pertaining to my area of expertise. I find this a bit insulting. Is it that it is assumed that a woman cannot hold responsible positions? Is it the general opinion that women are not strong enough to face challenging situations? Is it because women are not trusted to have the intelligence to handle complex tasks? Either way, it is rather insulting.

These days I have yet another preoccupation. My food blog! Finally, I have something of my own, something that I thoroughly enjoy doing. I am, in essence, a foodie and this is exactly the thing that I like to do. Cook, photograph, eat and blog about it! So far, it is going great. After all, nobody hates food!

Passing the bed time. These days I am determined to get at least 8 hours of sleep. I have my results so I intend to go on at it. Only tomorrow is a work day and after that, a long weekend that makes me smile just at the thought of it. Cz long weekend = sleeping in+cooking+just lounging about. Simply, bliss.

On yet another note, what I want to do most these days is just stay at home, lounge about doing nothing. My idea of excitement is great food and a great movie all by myself. What gets me all revved up is the thought of shopping for books and kitchenware. My celebrities are authors and chefs. Actors and actresses make me snort in derision and the mere thought of parties and etc just exhausts me. Am I growing old?

But come to think of it. I've never had a celebrity crush until Antonio Banderas. And then, Gerard Butler insisted on playing the tough man exterior - vulnerable interior Phantom of the Opera and got me all in a huff and a puff. That's it. I wonder if there is something wrong with me at times, to be so indifferent to the "heartthrobs" that everybody is swooning and salivating over.

Anyways, bed beckons and I need to answer when it does because I love it so. I am in a relationship with my bed. This is a relationship that had stood the tests of time, the only kind of true, unconditional love there is. We shall always be together. We are destined to be. Such, is my love for my bed, and all that it entails.

Yet another working day tomorrow, and a super stressful one at that. The only thing that stops me from going mad is the fact that it is only tomorrow that I will have to put up with. For now.

Eyebrow rape and other stories

My eyebrows were raped at the hands of a terrible, terrible salon personnel today. They are still recovering from their psychological wounds.

You see, I have very simple requirements when it comes to my eyebrows - to have two instead of one.  Nothing fancy, just enough to undo the Helga from 'Hey Arnold' look. The problem is, when these salon people see my eyebrows, they get all excited and want to take it all off (the eyebrows I mean). Some want to turn them into 'V's (I honestly don't understand what this is all about. Who'd want to have two circumflexes above their eyes anyway?) while some are convinced that they'd look super as super thin rainbows. Just get this straight; yes, I understand that my eyebrows are super bushy and yes, they might present themselves to you as the perfect playground to practice your craft. Whipping them into whatever you want them to be might seem all too exciting (cue whiplash), but the point is to shape them into what "I" want. I want them thick and there will be no compromising on that. After all, they are on MY face not anyone else's.

Same happens with my hair. 'OMG, SO much hair! Why do you want to cut this??','Such big curls! Let's straighten this!', 'You know what you should do??? Perm it!' are the usual reactions while some have other bizarre suggestions like 'let's dye it blue with green highlights. With your wavy curls, that would look so groovy!'. Honest to God, I'm not even kidding.

I'm not someone who frequents beauty salons, simply because the whole concept, the stench of bleeching and burnt hair somewhat depresses and nauseates me. So just like my eyebrows, I have simple needs when it comes to my hair. Just make it manageable. And without the straightening/rebonding/perming/colouring and the entire synthetic jingbang please. I'm not perfect but I somewhat like myself exactly as I am. And I will never get used to the high pitched gushing and screeching of beauty consultants, instructing the female creatures who walk through those doors about what is beautiful and what is not. I find it a tad patronising.  

That is not to say that all beauty consultants are the same. You come across some really awesome ones too once in a while, true artists who understand and work with all the natural flaws, inconsistencies and features of humans and accentuate their beauty, their uniqueness, interpreting them into something remarkable. Those, however rare, I cherish.

Thank God I have found such a hair person now who doesn't go bananas and mangoes at the sight of my hair. I am keeping her. Unfortunately, I am yet to find the luxury of such an eyebrow person as yet.

All this because my parents are celebrating their birthday tomorrow and I had to get them both gifts. Yes, yes they were both born on the same day, but years apart. And no, it's not cool cz every year right around this time I go shamefully broke from buying gifts for both of them at the same time. Plus all this wandering from one place to another in that impossible quest to find the perfect gift! Being a perfectionist does not help when you are out gift hunting...

Was out and about in Kiribathgoda after a long, long time. Couldn't help but wonder at how much things have changed. There was a time when the only bookshops in town were Samanala and the Gamage Bookshop. I used to get all excited when I was small when it was that time of the year when parents go out with their little ones with the list of books for school (this list has everything that the child would need for the term including pens and pencils, erasers, bottles of glue and etc). The smell of new books have always excited me and sometimes, if my parents were feeling generous, they would let me choose my own pencils and erasers instead of getting the boring, standard ones they usually give for the list. Fruity scented strawberry shaped erasers were all the rage those days and I'd always go for the most colourful pencils available. They were the most expensive. That is, if my parents let me.

Times have changed now and the children nowadays have much fancier things that I doubt if they really know the meaning of appreciation of what they get. The ability to get thrilled and be besides oneself over something so small like a fancy eraser was such a beautiful, innocent thing. I am grateful for those moments, I am grateful for those times. I feel sorry for the children of nowadays. I'd doubt if they would get impressed if even handed an iMac.

These bookshops have become forgotten holes in the wall, dark and gloomy inside, barely visible. It breaks my heart to see them now. Bigger and more luxurious looking bookshops like Sarasavi and Gunasena are looming over them now in their multi-storeyed glory while the others are shrinking under their gaze. It's sad. Just like everything else is in these changing times. Suddenly, I am left nostalgic for my childhood.

Back to the topic of shopping. Kiribathgoda is a fascinating place to shop if you've got a bit of time on your hands. While it isn't the best place to shop for the party that is tonight, once in a while you strike gold in the form of a gorgeous dress or a pair of shoes at unbelievably low prices if only you bother to dig far enough.

It always cracks me up whenever I walk into a shoe or a clothing store and a shop assistant asks me "Miss   මොනාද බැලුවේ". I always stop myself just in time from answering that I'm looking to buy some potatoes and coconuts for dinner. at the shoe store.

Well, I had no time for any of those today, what with dealing with an unending assignment and my perennial procrastination. And here I am watching videos of chipmunks doing stretching exercises on youtube and yapping crazy lady rants on blogger.

Back to my raped eyebrows. Tragedy is not even the word. So I walked home today in the rain with my scandalously thin eyebrows, letting the raindrops wash away my eyebrows' tears. And despite the heart wrenching tragedy, dare I say I enjoyed the walk? 

A Lady's thoughts on food blogs & procrastination

Lady Grouchalot finally has her own food blog! All my food rants, food adventures and whatnot will be posted on peckishme.com from now on and I cannot be more thrilled!

This food blog was years in coming and if it wasn't for our sweet web developer friend (who very graciously fit in this instantaneous request of mine in the midst of his extremely busy life, accommodated my wackiest whims and put up with my incessant nagging) this whole thing would not even have been possible. What I've been dreaming of for years, he pulled off in just two weeks! And just like I wanted it too. Kavidu, you are awesome!

On another note, foodsterous.blogspot.com/ will be no more as peckishme will take its place. Bye bye old blogger food blog! I shall miss thee nevertheless.

These days, by day I am a hardworking professional and by night, a somewhat reluctant student, bent under the weight of challenging assignments. On top of all that there are the other things that I must deal with like food blogs, poetry and a little bit of reading on the side. Life is constantly, shamelessly and unforgivingly demanding these days. I am on an adrenaline run. Juggling a highly demanding job role and a semi-secret scholarly life is somewhat complicated. I am, simply exhausted.

I have never been a fan of assignments. And these assignments are no exception. Isn't it amazing how everything else, even clipping your toenails become oh-so-engaging when faced with the task of writing an assignment? I have coined a whole lot of terms for my condition - academic lethargy, scholarly procrastination, students' block, study hunger being some of my frequently used terms. In fact, this very post is a result of my academic lethargy and scholarly procrastination.

Nothing has changed from undergrad days. NOTHING. So much for wishful thinking. Maybe, even with age and experience, some things never really improve.

Juggling life is what I do at this moment. Extreme stress period and it shows on my face. If I was to sleep 2 whole weeks, I will. Just to get a breather. Oh I am so tired.

But ah, the food blog! I still can't believe that I have one. Life was getting dull and one day I sat down and decided that I must have something that is mine and mine alone, something that makes me happy. I have realized that maintaining my own identity and having something to call my own is what it requires to be happy and content while working my socks (rather heels) off to make someone else's dreams come true. (Not that it is necessarily a bad thing, but some of us have a conscience that asks us strange questions sometimes) Having a child was not an option and neither is the novel I am writing coming out anytime soon. Hence Peckishme. com. My online baby :)

Right now, life is a mixture of the good and bad, the challenging, the unbearable and the sweet moments that make it all worthwhile. I am grateful for my support system, the handful of loved ones who have always been and will always be there for me. Right now, the rest of the world is one big, blurry haze and I don't really care. And the heat isn't helping either! Oh well, here's to cooler climes, friendlier, more humane colleagues and lesser assignments in the future. Here's to a more chilled out future. God knows I badly need one.

On love - an afterthought

I think love is based on action and reaction. I think it has very little to do with the appearance of an individual, one's personality or any other trait in the long run of things. While the above mentioned factors are applicable to short trice, I think long lasting affection is based on one's reaction to the other human being, the kindness and the attention shown, the amount of respect and regard that one has for another.

As someone who's had her fair share of long term relationships, I think I am entitled to these opinions.

It was while playing with my dog yesterday that this thought first struck me. It was after 3 whole days that he had seen me and his enthusiasm, his affection in general was overflowing; snuggling up to me and then toppling me over to lick and bite and poke at with his nose, not quite knowing what to do with himself in a fluster of excitement. This show of affection was and will always be, contagious. He is, as all the other dogs who have been in my life, one of those very few things I cherish in life, maybe even more so. But why do I love him so? Would I love him the same if he ignored me? Would I love him the same if he acted vicious towards me? I don't think so. I would be patient for a limited period of time, trying my best to love him, but I would have soon sunk into indifference. Such is the nature of a human being. 

People have different priorities, but speaking from a personal angle, appearance had never been a priority for me. It had not even been secondary or tertiary. Of course personality is what had always attracted me but it is how one reacts to me which becomes the crucial, retaining factor. Experience has confirmed that all the charisma in the world would not do if one does not respect, treat with attentive kindness and allow me to be myself with him without inhibition. This, I think is the secret to any lasting relationship. 

A younger me - a stubborn idealist, used to believe in 'unconditional love'. But an older, more exposed me wonders if there really exists an 'unconditional love' in this modern day and age. As per my notion, if not anything else, there will always be one condition; love and respect in return. Without these, how long can one's affections last? How much disrespect and indifference will one put up with before deciding to move away? We are all human after all. 

Whether one acknowledges it or not, the universe does revolve around oneself. Human beings are innately selfish and one tends to only invest in things if one gets a similar return. This goes against all romantic notions of love, but this is the stark reality as I see it. Where does romantic love end and practical relationships begin? One often tends to confuse one with the other and get lost among the two as a result.

People get into relationships for various reasons; loneliness - all your friends have settled down and you are feeling left out, Financial security, the glitz and the glamour, social pressure & biological clock issues, Super Hero/Heroine complex- the need to 'rescue' someone (a younger me is plenty guilty of this but an older and hopefully wiser me have decided to only stick to rescuing stray puppies. Those who want to be saved will save themselves. It is not up to me to save the world). But how many of us have gotten into a relationship because the other person really clicks or truly resonates with you? That kind of relationship is rare and will be the ONLY relationship that will truly make one happy right through one's life.

Which takes me back to my very first point - the reaction. While like-minded individuals who just 'click' are a rarity, those who will give you the respect, the kindness, love and attention that you deserve are even rarer. Whatever said and done, love and relationships are two very different things. The two do meet on very rare occasions and when they do, one is wise to hold on to it. Love does not always end in relationships and relationships are not always based on love. And god knows we rarely marry the ones we love. But where does this vicious circle end or begin?

They do say that the best kind of love is love unrequited, pure and untainted by reality. But I think real love, as raw and crude as it comes, is the best and lasting kind.

Oh I dunno. Just my tuppence on love post-Valentine's Day.   

   

Cadence of your Tears (Freedom's Chains)

25th January 2015, we ventured out to give a newly released original track a listen . A casual gathering of a few friends and media, the event said, a collaboration of two artists; a rather formidable personality in the metal music scene and a promising musician trained in classical music. An unlikely combo and to be quite frank, we did not know what to expect. Although we went expecting the unexpected in the first place, what was belted out at that hearing blew us away anyway.

Cadence of your tears (Freedom's chains) is simply put, breathtaking. It is unlike anything we have ever heard of in the local music scene and is therefore, quite refreshing. I am pretty sure I forgot to shed the sharp intake of breath that occurred as the first few notes of these wonderful voices merging, distancing and then entwining once again touched our ears. And for a great while afterwards, I was left speechless.

Let me deliberate.

Composed by Sanjeev Niles & Suresh De Silva of Stigmata, produced by Raveen Ratnam  of Paragon Productions, the vocals of the track comprise of the deep classical baritone of Sanjeev Niles and the wacky, varied and vivacious vocals of Suresh De Silva . Together, these three make a remarkable trio and the song Cadence of your Tears stands testament to this fruitful union.  

Having been introduced to Stigmata at a very young age in the form of an accidental hearing of "Voices" followed by a frantic scramble for their "other" work many , many years ago, I think it's fair to say that I actually grew up with their music. Even at that age, there was something that drew me to their work and kept me there all these years; the lyrics, the tunes, the insane guitar riffs, the unconventional compositions, I have formed a very personal, almost emotional attachment to all these over the years. Hence, Suresh's voice is no stranger to us. The growling, the screeching, the occasional and unexpected mellowness, the effortless falsettos, all too familiar. But this track came as quite a shock. A shock as to how different this song is to what I am used to and yet how similar in ways that I can't explain. (Dying Winter Sleeps anyone?)

The difference lies in the fact that in this piece, his voice is lifted beyond the usual plains into a sphere yet to be explored by the music of Stigmata (Hint, hint). However, it brings out a unique side to his vocals that we have never heard. His voice plunges into bottomless depths only to soar oh-so-high the next, dropping into a gentle whisper the following second leaving a lingering echo behind (that rolling of the "r" in the first verse. Italian ravioli-delicious). Makes one wonder what else these promising vocals are capable of indeed.  

I've only just gotten to know the music of Sanjeev Niles.  He has definitely captured my attention with this beautiful composition, his deep reverberating vocals and also his interest in the creation of music that transcends boundaries and demolishes set norms. And that voice! His is the solid, earthy foundation upon which Suresh's notes bloom (for some reason, I am reminded of Wuthering Heights' Catherine Earnshaw's comment about the "eternal rocks beneath" but never mind). Goes without saying that he will be featured at the top of my "to watch out for" artists in the coming years.

Raveen David Ratnam is of course, a familiar face. Having emerged as a TNL Onstage winner sometime back as a member of FuzMechanx, he has come a long way since, having been performing, composing, producing and also, headbanging at a metal gig once in a while. A multifaceted individual as rumours would rightly have it, and a talented one at that.

So how do these three fit in with one another? Rather well I'd say.

Just one complaint though. I felt that the track is not long enough and is abrupt in ending. Some nagging voice inside my head wants more and says that this has the potential to be a longer, much complex piece had it been given more playing time and milked to its fullest capacity. In that, it feels incomplete. Maybe that's just me annoyed that the song ended too soon. Oh well....  

In any case, here is a song that has managed to grab my attention and keep me captive within its varied nuances.  Here is a piece that moved me speechless and left me hitting the replay button over and over. A smooth, dark lullaby which has that surreal, almost fairy tale-ish, melancholic vibe that you immediately get hooked on to. It's enchanting, transporting, it's haunting; so much so that "My cantata, my cantata, my cantata...for your sin" has been playing in my head all week long.

Not that I'm complaining.  

In plain simple terms, this piece is badass. But as Suresh rightly said, there is nothing metal about it, BUT it is very much metal "in spirit".

And as usual, the lyrics of the song baffle, beguile and fascinate me all at the same time, true Stigmata style. I suspect that the infamous Stigmata vocalist/lyricist had a hand in this.  

Okay enough ranting. The song was finally launched online just a few hours ago, so feast your ears. The link below should do the needful. Click away. Happy listening!

https://soundcloud.com/sanjeevniles/cadence-of-your-tears-freedoms-chains

Did I mention that this is just the first track of an entire album? Well it is! Need I even say that the rest of this album is very much anticipated?

Flu Blues & weekends

Friday nights. Oh how I love them!

I love them for their silence, their infinite patience, the soft, drawling limbs dragging, dragging, taking their time, taking their time. I am happy curling up with a book or just sitting by myself, my thoughts and I, far from the maddening crowds.

You see, I am not the clubbing, partying kind. Never have been, never will be. Of course I am a bit of a dance freak but as far as I understand, that has nothing to do with the partying vibe. I am more of an intimate gathering kind, with people that I am comfortable with, people that I like.

Ah weekends. I love them for the morning cup of tea still in my pajamas at 9 am in the morning, sprawled across the couch in front of the TV, watching TLC and travelling in my head. I love them for the listless flops upon the balcony hammock, cup of tea in hand swinging to and fro in the mid-morning breeze, traces of sleep still not gone from eyes starring into the distance, mind far, far away.

I love them for the golden morning sunshine, filtered through the lace curtains, sneaking their way across the floor climbing all over the furniture. I love them for the drowsy honeyed sunlight in the afternoons when the sun could not bother anymore and we have caught it in its mellow moments with tea, other homemade goodies and frivolous chitterchatter in the garden.

Weekends. I love them for the random trips, foodie discoveries, personal indulgences and the occasional book binge once in a while. I love them for the infinity of horizons that open up, the excitement of possibilities and rare encounters here and there. I love them for walks walked hand in hand, sweet secret smiles and stolen kisses. And I would not have it any other way.

But all in all, I love weekends for the listless empty hours and the knowledge of having no obligations. Bliss :)

Now to curl up with a many paged friend and later on, cuddle up to a cup of tea and maybe a latenight snack. I am fickle in my books and flirtatious in reading. But alas, I cannot help it, I am just that, a lustful fiend yearning for stories, never satisfied. I have a harem that I've not yet fully explored but what I continue to grow with new additions each passing day.

On a side note, I have decided to get married. As they say, it's not even the right person, it is the right time. And I think that the right time approacheth.

Smooth sailing, satisfying, life has been quite placid lately. A short spell of flu, a few books, movies, a few hectic days at work and a few unforgettable moments with loved ones - life has been good.Travel bug has awakened once again, the postponed Europe plans are nagging in my head. One of these days I will just..........travel. The plan is to retire by 35. Let's hope I earn enough by then.

The book is underway and I am a bit under the weather. Throat scratcheth and I, sniffleth still. Must get sleep. Or else! The book can wait. But stories wait for no one somebody once said. But this story has waited a long time before it started trickling down my fingertips onto a computer keyboard. It can wait down a flu I am sure.