This post is dedicated in memory of all the innocent victims who had suffered formidable attacks of flying,relentless,super-ninja hair that has been oh-so-heartlessly flung at their unsuspecting,unexpecting faces at some point of their lives,nearly blinding them,even killing them in the process.Accept my deepest sympathies oh valiant ones,I totally know how you feel.
I remember a question that The Darling had once regarding hair at a particular point in our lives.Does one die from swallowing/suffocating/breathing in hair? Yes my dear,that is a possibility indeed.One can most definitely die from too much hair in their respiratory systems.Or any system for that matter.
Now,now don't get me wrong,I am a huge fan of hair and I happen to be immensely fond and proud of my own(satisfying my vanity here) which has indeed been greatly admired among peers and the whole lot(ahem) All that said in order to prove to you that I possess no hard feelings nor any sort of hatred towards hair.I just think that one's hair should be kept to one self and not be poked in to other people's faces,butts or any other places for that matter.That is all.
Today was a day when we were supposed to have the all-important three hour lecture on one of the most intricate subjects on our curriculum but was cancelled for the second consecutive week due to[Underline the correct answer] (a)the lack of lecturers (b)the inefficiency of the university system (c)pure dumb luck (d) the gummy bears invaded the earth (e) All of the above which resulted due to [Underline the correct answer yet again] (a)department policy (b)utter indifference of the university towards its suffering students (c) it rained cats that day (d) Jealousy and power struggle (e) the gummy bears went skinny dipping with the Barbie dolls (f)All of the above...etc.Anyways,the point is because of the cancellation of the lectures,we got the priceless opportunity of witnessing a truly brilliant theater piece by Anton Checkov,an adaptation of "The sea gull" named the "Muhudu lihiniya",an experience which was truly enlightening and exhilarating which was slightly marred by the heat within the hall.How it tackles the universal theme of the irony of human relationships,the utter complexity of it all,is truly prodigious and leaves you pondering for hours after all.I shall stop raving about the drama now but it's been more than a few months since I watched a stage drama.And for a drama buff like me,that's an incredibly long time.
Anyways the point is,the whole experience would have been far more enjoyable if it weren't for the sweltering heat amplified by the unexpected hair assaults that were hauled at us from the front.The well oiled and greasy/dry and crackly pony tails that streamed over the backs of the chairs and poured on to our laps,occasionally whipping/lashing/pricking/tickling us was more than a slight annoyance.My bestie,my fellow comrade in battle,was complaining of not being able to keep her feet on the foot hold in front of her as she was ruthlessly cornered in to utter helplessness by two bunches of cascading hair on either sides of her.Me on the other hand couldn't keep my hands on my legs as I kept coming up with handfuls of hair which was quite a nasty experience.I mean,who knows when she has had her last bath right? Needless to say,the hair scenario didn't do much for our nerves which were already ablaze with the lecturer crisis and the cremating heat within the hall.At which I decided to do what I do best;grab and yank the hair hard,smile and say sorry.At which the girl made that gecko sound(the typical 'tch' sound that Sri Lankans,specially the female species make when annoyed) barely glanced over her shoulder and looked right on ahead,without even bothering to take her blessed,crackly hair out of harm's way.I was hurt.My technique always works :(
My bestie was grateful that I keep my long hair did up,tied and out of other people's way.Well of course,I do.As narcissistic as it seems,I love my hair enough so as not to let any stranger yank,fondle,pull it off my scalp and tread on it whenever they please.Hell no!
Then we see another moronic female sweeping the streets with her hair as we watched her open mouthed.Honestly,that must have been the longest hair that I've even seen(or the fact that she was rather short made it sweep the floor as she walked) I wouldn't want to be whipped by THAT hair at any cost.Aaaarghh!
Buses were pretty much crowded as it was the office hours but I still prefer cramming myself in a mass of condensed body forms rather than walking the two-three stops home.Only to be whip-slapped by this rather foul smelling curly little pony tail.Oh no she didn't keep it still.She kept tossing her head about,whirling it like a merry-go-round,rocking back and forth which in turn forced me,whose both hand were occupied in hanging on to the railings trying not to fall,to inhale humongous toxic amounts of her unwashed hair,occasionally forcing dirty hair particles down my throat and through my respiratory system as my face was pressed against her bush of hair as she rocked,swayed and whip-lashed.I was pretty sure that I will be coughing up fur balls when I got home,which to my surprise,didn't happen.Oh joy!
The point is,if you love your hair,you got to keep it protected as in not letting it down in places that you know it's going to be yanked,pulled and messed around with.Chances are,it will protect your neck as well as your hair from disgruntled individuals like myself if gotten out of the wrong side of the bed who is most likely to behead you if it gets on their nerves.That's all then. Nitey nite! :)
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