Rainy day blues

Rainy day. The kind of day that you could sleep in for ages and not care about anything or anyone. Isn't it a glorious feeling to be able to curl up, foetal position and just let the mind take that much needed hike in the slumberlands, of course, not undisturbed by guilt at the reminiscence of all that work that awaits me, fangs and claws outstretched on the desk. Its just that on days like this, its easier to just smirk and wave away all those voices that nag you incessantly about work and if necessary, to deliver a much deserved punch on the face, break a tooth or two if they insist on not fastening their gaping traps.

Rainy day and solitude. Two beautiful things that a girl can never tire of.

Except right now, my usual solitary happy hour with my huge ass mug of warm tea in front of the TV just as I get up in the morning is being shamelessly usurped these days. And the culprit is Mother Dearest. Yes, to my woe and misery, she is on leave these days and she just finds it very convenient for her to flop down on a camel stool beside me and jabber the morning away just when I had comfortably snuggled up on the couch with my morning tea, my lazy pyjama-clad self and my daily dose of Merlin repeat telecast of yesterday. Its just that I do not appreciate being bugged early (ok, so not so early) in the morning. This time of the day is important to me because that's when my brain cells are nudged awake, one by tiny one. My tea, my Merlin are mine and mine alone. I do not want to share them. With ANYONE!! I desperately need those two things in order to brace myself before going out to face this big, bad, ugly world! Too dramatic of a statement? Yes, I thought so too.

By the way, Prince Arthur has the cutest of all cutest smiles don't you think? He has the most adoooorable disfigured set of teeth that I have ever seen! *swoon* Yes, yes I know, I have a thing for imperfect things. Sigh....I'm just made that way. Perfection bores me. Really.

Been feeling rather disconnected lately. Its like the whole world is shrinking away from me. Everything and everyone is so distant, so far away that sometimes, nothing seems real. Ever felt like you stretch out your hand  in search of some warmth only to be brushed by this icy cold gust of wind? Ever felt that there is no body to take you by the hand when you are lost in the middle of a snow storm, offer you their coat to keep you safe and warm, hustle you off to a warm and glowing house where you will be offered a homemade steaming hot, comforting broth? That's exactly how the feeling has been lately. I've been craving for that warm coat, warm hand and the steaming broth quite badly. Yes, yes, even I, the notorious antisocial loner need some warmth and sunshine once in a while. But at the outset, everything's just fine. Guess its just a state of mind. While everything shrinks and withdraws from my grasp these days, I just can't wait to get back in to the real world. I just can't wait to finish this God-awful degree and inject some "life" in to my life, so to speak. Right now, everything is stagnant and I'm dream-walking through life. Damn this rotten degree! It has done its best to ladle out quite generous servings of depression to us poor folk over the years.

Not in the mood to be a smart ass today. I'm just going to give in to the general mood and sink in to depression now. Yet, there is something so comforting and soothing in the sound of the raindrops falling. Think I'l just sulk away to that rhythm *sob sob*

Life really feels like it doesn't have ANY bloody meaning sometimes. Sometimes you just can't find any reason to live. Other than to fulfill other people's expectations of course. But why the dickens should we even bother? Just like that very wise, very loud Bon Jovi once screamed out, ITS MY bloody LIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!!    

Oh....Mother Dearest is making fish buns today. Guess she contracted the cooking virus from me. Home made fish buns! I knowwwwwwwwwwww!! At last, SOMETHING to look forward to! Yeeeyy!! :D