Vampire abuse!

Ok, so this is another post about vampires *runs and hides* I know, I know, y'll had heard enough of them already, but I'm just truly infuriated at the amount of abuse that these glorious, mysterious creatures of the night are going through! First these untamed, dark, brooding, silent creatures were almost domesticated by the Twilight series ( diamonds are a vampire's breast friend? Hik hik ) and now there is this scandalous amount of cheesy vampirey stuff oozing all over the place on TV, radio, unsuccessful vampire novels, laundry baskets, underwear drawers, etc. Vampire diaries, True blood, Blood ties (I actually liked the program) the whole blooming Twilight series just to name a few has reduced these beautiful, deathly pale and bloodlessly glorious vampires in to a breed of mere blood sucking mosquitoes. Sigh.......... Tragedy!!

So what exactly is the reason for this sudden passionate (repeated) outburst today? I just happened to watch an episode of The Vampire Diaries, accidently mind you, while I was having my dinner. In my defense, when there is Simi Garawal on India's most wanted (the next worse thing since Koffee with Karan) on one channel and a wedding program on the other (I won't be caught dead watching one of those), what choice has a helpless girl trying to stuff some food down her throat without choking on it has? So anyway, it seemed to me that (according to the program anyway) there is a friendly neighborhood vampire or two around the corner for you to get bitten by and perhaps if you are lucky, to get turned in to a vampire! Or get yourself in to a complicated romantic mortal-immortal, I-wanna-drink-your-blood-but-I'm-too-much-of-a-wimp sort of entanglement, the choice is yours really.

And apparently, they use guns with wooden bullets to kill vampires these days. I was particularly stricken with that element which sort of vandalized the whole vampire culture. I mean, whatever happened to the good ol wooden stick through the heart and you die sprouting blood all over the place procedure? Sigh......So much has changed. Vampires even rip each other apart nowadays. Such a waste of glorious flesh. It was so much more fun when you go hunting for vampire coffins, open em and jam the wooden stakes through the heart and watch em die with this eerie smile spread out over their fanged, bloody yet sexy as hell faces. Much more enticing sort of a picture noh? Oh the crowds have grown so lazy that they always want to take the easy way out these days. Sigh.......

Guess I've always had a V spot for these majestic creatures of the night and I always will. Reading Bram Stoker's Dracula in grade 3 changed my life and my preference in men forever I suppose. Since then, I had been hooked. While all the other girls my age fantasized about clean shaven, neatly dressed, blond haired, blue-eyed knights in shining armor sweeping them off their feet, it had always been the darkly-clad (complete with the cape and all) and dangerous, silent, mysterious and brooding hero ( Grrrr...makes scratching gestures with hands on air) snatching me up on his bat claws and whisking me away to his bat-infested lair of open coffins and human skeletons. (Yes well, I've had my fair share of weird fantasies) Vampires were rare, delicate and unique creatures back then and I would have gladly walked up to a vampire (if I was ever lucky to find one) and offered my neck for his dinner back then. I've always wanted to date a vampire. But now, even having one as a friend would be sooooo yesterday. Sigh..............

One other thing that the Twilight series tried to do (but miserably failed) is to caricaturize the age-old phenomena of werewolves and get the teenyboppers drooling all over them. The long haired, shirtless dudes with tattoos who dripped testosterone as they ran like gazelles through the woods were sexy enough but I guess the idea of a man sprouting hair all over him at the rise of the moon isn't all that appealing. Guess nobody wants to wake up the next morning coughing up fur balls if you know what I mean.

Just logged in to FB to see a fellow colleague of mine freaking out about her thesis which got ME all freaked out. Yeah, we absolutely LOVE doing that on FB, its more fun to freak out collectively than to freak out by yourself any day. Plus, it inspires us lazy bums to move our fat bottoms and get some work done through fear, like right now. So off I go. Good night everyone! Hope you have dreams of REAL vampires, not the lame ass plastic ones that you see walking down the aisles of your local supermarket, stacking tins and cans on shelves these days :)