Saturday, November 13, 2010

Mosquitoes!

This post is specifically dedicated to that glorious kind of breed that feeds on human blood scientifically referred to as Varies that the God almighty created to plague us all and that would absolutely not answer to any repellent ever invented.We,the common folk like to call them as mosquitoes or the kind of nuisance that flies.

Me and mosquitoes did not use to have any issues in the past. In fact, we used to get along pretty well until late when suddenly they started to see me in a whole new light.Somehow or the other,it seems that I have suddenly started resembling a walking blood bank.Oh yes,feel free to just swoop in and prick me with those minuscule needles of yours,I'm here for your drinking pleasure! Do they have ANY friggin' idea what trouble my bone marrow goes through in producing all that blood?? Do they even care?? Really,the nerve!

As a child,on the rare occasions when I catch a mosquito alive,I used to cut off it's proboscis and release it again so that it wont be able to sting anyone again(Yes,I was a very angry child)For a long time I believed that,this was the reason why mosquitoes did not bother me much(Yes,and a very fanciful one too)

Sometimes I wonder if they really are vampires incarnated.Maybe it's the other way round.Mosquitoes die and get born as vampires doomed to roam the earth as tortured,soulless creatures forever! Ha! Take that!

But I've always had a thing for vampires.I mean really,I find this tragic,forlorn,unwashed,blood sucking,brooding mysterious type quite attractive.That was at least until Edward Cullen walked in and ruined it all for me.I mean,honestly,a vampire that sparkles like diamonds in the daylight? I mean,Cher sparkles,Lady Gaga sparkles,even Snoop Dog,Nelly and the like sparkle in all their heavy,hopefully lightning-proof bling bling, but why,oh why the vampires?As if its not enough that they are doomed to roam the earth lonely and miserable forever..Sigh....Tragedy.It's almost like a metal artist walking around in a tutu and ballet shoes...But then....Ahhh...u'l never know ;)

Its fascinating how the female species react at the mere mention of the name Edward Cullen.They gasp,become quite breathless,turn this interesting shade of grey and blue in the face and then suddenly,they are as red as dirty beet-roots that have just been dug up from the mud.A common phrase that is frequently uttered at such occasions-"Edward Cullen,you can suck my blood and watch me fall asleep at night!!!!!!",followed by a series of sighs,moans and shrieks which leaves me quite confused in trying to determine wether they are dying or having a sort of a spontaneous congregational orgasm on the spot.Needless to say,all this hullabaloo makes ME want to suck off their blood in a noble attempt to make them all zip up and rid the world of the sound pollution and all that slobbering.Honestly,it's rather annoying.

Anyways,like I said,vampires are quite attractive in their own dysfunctional ways,but mosquitoes however are rather irritating.Which is why right at this moment I'm scratching away at the mosquito bites on my arms and legs,cursing the grand mothers,the great grand mothers and the great great great grandmothers of the Varies species,determined to lead the nation in a mosquito holocaust one of these days.Enough said I guess,I got some mosquitoes to crush.Hope y'all have a mosquito free night! Hate it when they come and make that annoying weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeing sound in the ear.Ugh!